7 weeks!

Today I am 33 weeks pregnant. It's not anything new to me, considering this is our 5th baby... in 6 years. :)
I'm not a total professional at pregnancy like the moms w 15+ kids on tv, but this certainly isn't my first rodeo!

Despite the potential for this whole baby deal to get tiresome, I think I'm more excited now than I was with our first! I have SEVEN weeks to my due date! Realistically, it could be as early as 5 or as late as 9. Either way, these are some of the most exciting 5-9 weeks of my life!!

7 weeks. Wow! You know, 7 is the number of perfection & that is exactly what I am envisioning for these last weeks: PERFECTION! In honor of my glee, I've put together a list of the 7 reasons I am so excited to have this little guy! :)

1. Final nesting!
The last few weeks of any pregnancy are the most productive for my husband & I. We clean, organize, rearrange & conquer the entire house. Well, mostly I do it & then there's a list of things I can't do without his assistance (moving heavy furniture, etc). I am never more organized than in my 3rd trimester!

2. The reward
Having a baby in general is like the prize at the bottom of your cereal box! You wait for 9 months, knowing it's gonna be worth it, & then it's like the playlist in your mind is on the Hallelujah chorus when that precious reward is finally here. I've been on this intense spiritual journey through these 9 months, learning to trust & give up my insignificant "plans" for God's best & now it's like I can see the finish line. I see the prize at the bottom & it's way better than a glow in the dark ring! :)

3. My other kids
They are more excited than I am! I love seeing the littlest ones learning to be gentle; or the older ones becoming more responsible. The other day, my 6 year old unloaded & loaded the dishwasher because he knew I was tired! It wasn't perfect, but he was right! I WAS tired & his initiative was such a blessing to me!

4. Baby smell
Oh, that sweet smell. It may involve a hint of poop & a small bit of spit up, but still... it sure is nice. It's the smell you sniff as you are laying next to them at night, or cuddling & snoozing on the couch. It's amazing!

5. Breastfeeding again
Nursing my babies is one of my greatest joys as a mother. It's the single most fulfilling job. Not to mention the ever-popular bonus of losing baby weight faster! :) Once you get past the first 6 weeks with your first baby, it's a breeze! Now, I will say it takes complete selfless-ness. You are sacrificing your schedule & lifestyle for your baby's best interest. Breastfed babies usually feed more often & are sometimes more difficult to wean, but the one on one moments spent nursing are just the best! It's a bonding experience you can't ever trade!

6. Our birth
When we found out I was pregnant, my husband asked me to consider having a home birth. I said "don't ever ask me that again". Haha! Even though we had our last baby totally naturally, I was stuck on this nightmare in my head. It's the one where I'm wearing a long denim skirt w hair past my waist, homeschooling a little tribe of children in matching polos with Biblical names. This dream was fast approaching if I considered a home birth. Well, let me tell you that my heart was changed. I researched it. I studied birthing. I watched what seems like a million home birth videos on YouTube (not all were pretty, I must say). I met with my friend, who had her last at home, heard her story & began to become interested. And then, it happened. I saw a video of the most beautiful birth I'd ever seen. The most perfect song I'd ever heard was playing in the back ground. I knew it was what I wanted! No more sterile hospital rooms with cords coming out every inch of me. No more nurses asking when I'd pooped or peed last. No more being away from my children as we enter a new season in all our lives. So, this beautiful, normal, family event will be held in the comfort of our own home- where we live together, where our kids will grow up & where we will grow old!

7. Paternity leave
Yes! Paternity leave!!! My hubby gets a week of paid leave from baby's birth. It's so great... all of us being together, working as a team, learning to adjust. However daddy's first day back to work is always completely terrifying. Haha!

So, the journey continues for the next 5-9 weeks...

Jan Fed The Hens

Jan fed the hens. JAN FED THE HENS!!! No matter how I read it, this sentence is basically meaningless... unless I am Jan & have some really hungry hens to feed (ironically, my children are begging for a snack right now-ha!).
BUT when my almost 5 year old read these words in her first sentence today, I wanted to scream it from the ROOFTOPS! YES! Jan fed those hens!!!! We did it! She is learning to read & by golly... I TAUGHT HER!!!!

We began our homeschooling adventure this year & I convinced myself that it was best for our kids, so I would learn to love it. Let me just tell you that most days that we get through a full day, I do feel great! However, believe it or not, there are usually about 3 days of the week that we DON'T get it all done & I feel like all I want to do is send my kids to "real school".

I live for the good days, though. I see my life as a homeschooling mom right now like "The Little Engine That Could". If I tell myself I can, it will turn out ok... probably. I think I can (teach her to read). I think I can (get through til naptime). I think I can (be patient). But the moment I say I can't do it anymore, the day falls apart. It's similar to the days that all I announce is "how overwhelmed" I am by our life. Well, tough cookies, momma! This is your life. I think I can... and I AM... learning to LOVE IT!

I just read an interview today where a mom of four said the most generalized idea about large families is that "we all homeschool". I think the most generalized idea about large, homeschooling families is that we all WANT to. I teach my children because I know it is what is best for our family right now. I teach our children because we cannot afford private school. I teach our children because we will not ever send them to public school. I teach our children because today... JAN FED THE HENS!

All the aches and pains

So, I am officially 29 weeks pregnant this week. I am in my last trimester & definitely feeling it. You mom's know EXACTLY what I mean when I say I can FEEL that I'm in my 3rd trimester.

This entire pregnancy has been SUCH a journey for me. I truly felt so overwhelmed with four children & the morning I saw that positive pregnancy test was such a shock. My husband said "I knew it!", but I felt so concerned. Just because this is our 5th child does not mean we just go about pregnancy & childbirth like it's no big deal. In fact, as we've grown as a family, we've also grown in our respect for bringing a child into the world. This is not just a baby. This is not just  another tax deduction. This is a life that God has blessed us with. He trusts us to care for & train this child... and that starts in the womb... at conception!

God has been teaching me something at every stage. My first trimester was a time that I really learned what a family is all about. It's about sacrifice. We don't just worry about ourselves- we can't! A family survives and grows stronger as we lean on each other & care for one another... in (morning) sickness and in health! I also really learned about my own children during this trimester. I learned so much about what they need from me as their mom.

My second trimester I learned about my own limits. As I was transitioning from 1st to 2nd trimester, I began to see how when I did too much, it affected not only the baby, but my other kids. I can't be the best mom possible if my back is out all the time & I'm working all these part time jobs that take me away from them when they need me most. What do they need at this point in their lives? That is what I am here to provide!

And at last, I come to my current stage... the beloved 3rd trimester. With every ache and pain in my body, I feel one outside myself. I feel stretching of finances as my belly stretches daily. I feel aching to have my husband home more often, as my lower back aches each night. I can sense the changes coming for our family. We are entering a new place together. Going from 3 to 4 kids was big, but this change from 4 to 5 is HUGE!

God has a plan. I know he does. Every ache and pain will be worth it. Every stretch we're going through  will have a wonderful end result. We just have to hang in there. We have to be patient... even though... it's really hard! :)

No... you can't possibly be SIX

Today is... gulp... my oldest kiddos' birthday. He is six today. I've questioned this a few times. Maybe I lost track? Maybe I'm counting wrong? Was he REALLY born in 2005?

Six years ago my life changed OFFICIALLY. I mean, the day I found out I was pregnant was CERTAINLY the biggest birthday surprise EVER! No surprise party will top that. However, the day he was born I became a new person. I became mommy.

I have said this before, but I HATE the word mother. I feel like to be one of those I'd need jeans up to my boobs & a visor. I know. It is so stereotypical. I also cried the day we bought our minivan... Not tears of joy. But for me, "MOMMY" means so much more. It is the reason my life is so incredible.

I remember laying in the hospital, as labor was induced. I had no clue what was about to happen. I was thinking at some point it might hurt, I'd ask for some drugs & then I'd have a baby. And I'd like to remind you that I didn't like babies... until that moment. I had dilated & gone through labor faster than anticipated. There wasn't time for the usual progression, but they gave me "the stuff" & before I knew what was going on, there was this cry. It was precious. Not nearly as annoying as those other babies. As the nurses laid him on my chest, I fell in love. I loved my husband (well, he was my fiance at the time), but this was different. This little man heard his daddy's voice & instantly stopped crying. It was literally love at first sight. Our family had begun.

The past six years we have been through more than most couples do in their "honeymoon phase". Haha! Our honeymoon will happen later... after the kids move out. I mean, that is the bonus of having kids young, right? It wasn't my plan, but it was the greatest idea God could've had.

I'm on my way to the next year of loving this little guy & learning all about this child that is growing before my eyes. He is smart, kind, funny. He is the greatest big brother. He loves Jesus with all his heart & wants to do what is right. I couldn't be more proud of the young man he is becoming. Today I celebrate 6 years of that laugh; 6 years of his smile; 6 years of discovering each day through this example of how much my Heavenly Father really loves me.

This is CRAZY

I haven't posted in a while... possibly because of the circus that is my life! I'm not saying that it's terrible. A circus is LOTS of fun, but sometimes the bearded lady & the guy who swallows fire are just a little over the top. Know what I mean? Every once in a while, I would kind of like to calm the freak show & have a normal day. Haha... oh wait... this IS normal! :)

I have had an eventful few months. I thought turning 25 was going to be more than I could handle. Little did I know that the week before this "milestone" I would get pregnant (again), that the night after my birthday my parents' house would catch on fire, that my little dog would no longer be a part of our life, or that I would be taken on this CRAZY journey over the next 6 months. SURPRISE! God likes to keep me on my toes, that's for sure.

My resolutions went out the door. Along with them went my ideas, plans & desires for what I thought would be a settling down for our family this year. Oh well. Here we are! My parents are now living with US, rather than the opposite for those 2 1/2 years. We just found out that baby #5 is indeed coming in December... and he is a boy. I have found myself trying to organize every inch of our house because "maybe if I organize it, things will calm down".

Here is what I have learned. I have 4 (soon to be 5) CHILDREN, not 4 organizational problems. I cannot sort & stash my CHILDREN. I can train them. I can teach them. I can guide them. The behavior issues are solving themselves as I have learned to lead their HEARTS more every day. Their actions are reflecting what my husband & I are praying.

I CAN, however organize my own priorities. What's most important? Making hairbows to make $5 a piece on... or making a necklace out of cheerios with my toddlers? Working in an office for 5 hours a week (which always turns to more)... or actually getting the dishes done so that the time I spend with my kids is truly spent WITH them. My house isn't fabulous & perfect. I'll admit it! I don't live in a Pottery Barn catalog (sigh!). But I am so much more satisfied with the fact that there are construction paper crafts covering my fridge. There are tiny handprints on my back window. There is a special signature in permanent ink on the closet door. AND, above all else, there is more love & laughter than we know what to do with.

Saturday Night Fevers

I found this un-published & its kind of perfect since we'll be to winter before we know it! :)

I'm sitting on the couch between my middle 2 kiddos... both with a fever. They've been napping for 2 days & finally woke up this afternoon. But cold & flu season is among the things I HATE about winter. I know, HATE is such a strong word, but truly that is why I use it in reference to this horrid season. Haha! So, in light of my disdain for the cold, I am going to list my top 10 favorite things about winter. Perhaps this could distract me from my crankiness toward the winter... or at least postpone any further negativity! :)

1. The first big snow!

It's beautiful when it snows over night & you wake up to find your street just covered in a blanket of white! We just had 2 snow days in a row this past week. They were just magical! The kids woke up, got into bed with me as we watched the snow fall for a bit, then went downstairs to open up the back windows and watch the snow some more while we ate breakfast. We made snow ice cream. We ate only things that were shaped like snowmen or were white like snow. We played in it. Michael took Efton sledding at the park! We got 10 inches, which was simply fabulous! Nothing beats a good snow in January!

2. CHRISTMAS, of course!

Oh, yes... the most wonderful time of the year! I just love how at Christmas, everything is exciting, especially to the kids! I love remembering Christmas as a little girl with my brothers. One year, my brother & I woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve to just sit & look at the tree with all of our presents under it. We didn't touch, because Christmas tradition is just too important to mess with. He & I take Christmas very seriously! We take our trees very seriously, as well. I have my trees up every year the day after Thanksgiving. One tree I let the kids decorate, with as much STUFF as they want... colored lights, bubble lights, tacky ornaments, ornaments with our pictures on them, construction paper crafts, candy canes... it's loaded with all the mismatched things that make it look like a gingerbread house threw up on their tree. And then there's MY TREE! It's bright & sparkly & OH SO CHIC! Haha! It's jewel-toned, hot pink & lime green decorations, with silver beads & white lights. It has a big, silver star at the top & a few pink poinsettias scattered on it. I ADORE my tree! Efton got to help this year, but only under strict supervision. I know he is as OCD as I am, so I let him stay up... but only if he followed orders! :)

3. Black Friday

I know most people hate it, but I thrive on the excitement! My husband & I stay up every year on Thanksgiving scoping out the ads online. Then we compare & plot where we will go. My mom stays with the kids that morning so we can get in line early! We are shivering & freezing, but about 15 minutes until those doors open, I start to get really pumped! Michael laughs at me every year. I love it!

4. Christmas Sunday

The Sunday before Christmas is when the kids' program is at our church. I remember performing as a little girl. I always had a solo to sing & when we first started the church, I was the only girl, so I got to be Mary for probably 5 years in a row. Haha! I thought it was because I looked so pure! BAAHAHA!

A couple years ago all of our toddlers and preschoolers were baby animals at the manger. They were in farm animal costumes... well, the "cows" got restless & started roaming all over the sanctuary... PRICELESS! Always priceless!

5. Starting fresh in January

No matter what the past year has held, we always get to start over new! I love staying up late and shouting HAPPPPP-Y NEW YEAR!!! It means that as of today, we forget the last 365 days & focus on the next. WHat will they hold? Who knows! That's why it's so exciting! Michael & I got married on the 30th, for that very reason! We needed to start the year fresh as a family! The year we got married was a looong, rough year. We learned a lot & grew a lot FOR SURE, but starting that new year out together... past forgotten, looking to the future, was such a blessing!

6. Organizing your life

Along with that new, fresh start comes this desire (at least for me) to clean everything out of our house & organize it! Haha! Its like I can make it through the holidays, but then life has to go on & we have to get some order back into our lives! This year, I have been determined to get EVERY area of our lives organized: work, school, family, personal... watch out... I'm on a rampage!

7. Valentine's Day

Is right up there with Christmas on my list of holidays! I LOVE to celebrate LOVE! I always decorate our house with pink & red, make anything heart-shaped I can think of & then I throw a Valentine Party for my kids & all their cousins (there are 12!). It just is a really great excuse to go OUT OF YOUR WAY to show and tell everyone how much you care about them.

8. TAX RETURNS!!!!!

Yes, I know... how shallow and materialistic! Whatever! :) Every year I am anxiously waiting for that W2 to come in the mail so I can sit down with Michael one night & do our taxes. I hate money and numbers. I am terrible at math, so Michael does it all. He has this sick fascination and love for math... yuck! BUT somehow, I "get" the math when I see the numbers at the end! Yeah, baby! It's just comforting to know you can breathe for about a week before you spend it on whatever you spend it on. For us, it always seems to pay bills & buy clothes for our kids. But I do always make sure we get to go out to eat just once with it before we rifle it away on more "practical" things.

9. SWEATERS

Although they are itchy & awful, everyone just looks so cute in sweaters. That's all I have to say about that. I'm sick of them by mid-January, but they sure are adorable!

10. FIRES in the fireplace

aaaahhhh... so toasty & warm!! Almost makes me like winter. But not quite enough! :)

A new year... now what?!

2011. It's here & I feel like I just got used to writing 2010! This year has just FLOWN BY! A year ago, I was pregnant, homeschooling my 3 and 4 year olds, living in a very cramped house with my family, & had just sent my husband BACK to school... and I thought I was busy. HA! I wish I had that much time now. 

With a new year comes a fresh start. That is something I am always up for! When I was thinking about New Year's Resolutions, the usual came to mind... eat better, lose weight, read my Bible more. But considering how much happened in 2010 & how much life has changed for us, I have really begun to realize how important those "usual" resolutions are. So, in honor of my kids, who need their mom to be as healthy as possible (both physically AND spiritually), I am trying my hardest to keep those "normal" resolutions. 

2011 here I come... 

eating healthier

cutting back on soda

reading my Bible more

spending more time with my husband

trying to work out several times a week

sleeping more

being more patient

I probably won't do every single thing... every single week... BUT the cool thing is that my husband, my kids & more importantly, GOD are not interested in my complete success. My kids don't care if I work out 5 times a week, instead of the one time it happens... they just need a mom who doesn't groan every time I pick them up because my back hurts. My husband doesn't care if we have this fabulous, romantic night...   he just wants time with his wife. And God doesn't care if I spend an hour a day reading my Bible or the 15 minutes that I have before I wake the kids up. He doesn't care if I look like I did 6 years ago before I had kids. He doesn't mind that I didn't take my pajamas off yesterday until my mother-in-law called to say she was on her way over. God just wants me to spend time with him each day. He wants me to depend on him, rather than that Dr. Pepper. He wants me to know HIS voice and HIS words more than I know anyone else's. 

So, in 2011, I may not lose those last 5 "baby pounds". I might not completely give up soda. And, I know this is shocking, but I will probably still lose my patience this year. HA! But the whole point is not all the times that I will fail... it's about how many MORE TIMES I can have success. How many more times will I wake up 15 minutes earlier to read my Bible this year than I did last year. How many more times will I work out this year than I did last year? If it's even ONE MORE TIME, then I have succeeded. Just one more day that I choose to go to bed, instead of stay up all night, which then results in me losing my patience & having an extra soda the next day... 

As a mom, these are not easy resolutions to make. They are probably impossible, but that is why they are so vague. HAha! We will see what happens, but for now... I am resolving to try my hardest!