Snow in March

For all my friends, you had to know this was coming. My rant on snow. Haha! I stood in my doorway this morning, wearing jammies & slippers, shaking my fist at the snow. Again?! it's snowing again?! But I thought I should explain myself...

My birthday is March 7. If you know me at all, you know that this is a very important day for me. In my younger years, this was selfish... "a day all about me!" But since my 19th birthday a few things have changed. See on my 19th birthday, I went to the doctor. I thought I had cancer. She told me I was pregnant. Life has never been the same. I walked into that office a child, and came out an adult.

So I have learned that if I don't strive to make my birthday an exciting, fun time... It can easily become a very introspective, almost sad time. That was a very emotionally traumatizing day for me, as you can imagine, to walk out of that office being expected to tell my mother, father, brothers, boyfriend, and pretty much the rest of the world how BIG of a mistake I had made. Now, God's grace covers my multitude of sins. Have no fear, I do not dwell in that shame. But every year it does cross my mind... A lot.

So please understand that while I LOVE the beauty, peacefulness, and significance of a snow fall... I need a little sunshine on March 7. I need flowers poking through the cold ground. I need to see the new life of spring that reminds me of all that comes AFTER the long, hard winter is over.

Plus, one year my birthday party got cancelled because of a snow storm & it was completely heart breaking. Haha! But mostly because of all that other stuff.

A Date With My Darling Daughter

Every year on my birthday, I take my oldest daughter on a date. We do it on her birthday, too. We go to the nail salon for pedicures. This year my birthday week is particularly busy, so we went a week early. I know many moms who are anti "pampering" for their daughters...
Well I say pish-posh! Twice a year pedicures will not spoil my daughter, at least not any more than I'd like her spoiled. I think every little girl deserves to know how she *should* be treated:
• having doors opened for her
• being treated like a lady
• getting pampered every once in a while
• going fancy places

We had the BEST time together last night, sitting in those massage chairs. At one point I looked at her with a smile... we reached across the "aisle" between us & held hands for a while. Then, we got matching nail polish: hot pink with gold sparkles.

It was just what we both needed. We got away from screaming toddlers, away from our to-do lists & chores... we drank coffee (& a juice box) while getting our feet scrubbed & rubbed... it was a perfect date!

Start the conversation below! Do you take your daughter(s) on a dates? What's your favorite date idea?

What I Could Have Noticed...

Last week, I was feeling brave. I ventured into the garage for "THE BOXES". These are not just any boxes, it's the {what seems like} 100 plastic bins full of out-of-season clothing. They are perfectly sorted by size and gender. There are boxes of shoes for girls and boys. There are keepsake boxes of things like that special shirt #1 wore every other day (so I could wash it) when he was 3, or the maternity shirt I wore for my 2 last weeks with #3 because I was so big I fit into nothing else. Good memories are in those boxes of onesies and sweet smelling baby clothes. They are some of my favorite memories, in fact.

What I was NOT expecting to find, however, was a pattern. We have been going through a rather difficult season lately with our 4 year old. I have some appointments in the next few weeks to pin-point exactly what is going on, but for now I just know we are dealing with tough stuff! When the words "disorder" are used, it's just plain hard, you know?!

So, back to the BOXES...
I went through the giant, stinky box of boy shoes. I rarely go into this box because for one, it's a pile of disorganized shoes, but also because of the smell. Boys have smelly feet. My special boy #3 had smelly feet as an infant! As I laid them all out in pairs, I began to notice the amount of "Converse" and "Crocs" that were piling up. I had a pair in EVERY size. My oldest didn't wear any of them. It was Mr. 4 Year Old! He will only wear these 2 kinds of shoes! Part of his issue is with clothing: certain pants *hurt* him, he won't wear socks because "they're stabbing" his feet, shirts can NOT have tags, and long sleeves are often an issue as well. You can imagine how fun winter is for us! Haha! In a perfect world, he would wear only a comfy, tagless t-shirt & his underwear 24-7! Unfortunately we can't go out of the house like that...

It just made me sad to see 4 years of this pattern. You might say I am reading too much into it, but for us it's been such a life-changing process we have entered in the past couple months that EVERYTHING is significant lately. All these things are popping up as we realize his whole life, all these little picky things, are related. In one way I feel sad, but I also am excited!

We didn't know how to help him before! But now, as I discover friends who have walked down this road (or roads similar), as I research, as we seek out help... I am finding new ways to connect with my son. I feel like we are getting a brand new relationship through all of this. I am learning so much about him that I was never able to see before!

I can not wait to learn more about him as we continue on this new journey!

New Every Morning

“Mommy, why do we have to go to sleep at night,” my almost 3 year old asks me. My first response was about rest. Even God rested after her worked hard & created the world. We were created to need sleep. Later that night though, I was thinking about it.

God’s whole plan is about GRACE! He always gives us more grace! You know what I think? I think God gives days and nights so that we can START OVER! Today might have been really terrible, but…

Lamentations 3:22-24

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; They are NEW EVERY MORNING; Great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him.

It’s new every morning! What an amazing blessing! Each day we go to sleep at night, carrying the weight of all our decisions from the day. BUT WHEN WE WAKE UP there’s more grace! We get to start fresh, all over again!

Whether I yelled at my kids, or spent too much money on something, or burnt the dinner, or didn’t get all our school done today… I still get to start fresh!

Seriously, I can't even begin to express what a relief this is!

posting from the trenches

Raising kids is hard… in case you didn’t get the memo! Haha! I am frequently concerned that I am ruining my kids, or that they are going to need some serious counseling later in life. I mean, I had amazing parents, but even I ended up pregnant at 19!

Not only is it hard, but it’s exhausting! I am frequently tired. Not just on a physical level, but on EVERY level. Parenting uses up mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical strength. Some days my body is wide-awake, but my brain is done. I might not be ready for a nap, but the stress on my mental health, keeping up with my 4 year old & trying to stay one step ahead of him… has just finished me for the day!

It’s so hard to keep the goal in mind! The funny thing is that it’s JUST like all those old church ladies say: “the days are long, but the years are short”. We have to remember that the goal is not JUST making it to the end of the day (even though that seems nearly impossible). The goal is long-term. It’s not just surviving a Monday; it’s about RAISING children! Motherhood is hard. It’s tiring. It feels like you are in the trenches, in the middle of the pouring rain, with food in your hair and you have to pee!

Galatians 6:9 says:

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Do not give up, mommas! Get through today, put them to bed & then take 30 minutes… read a book, take a bath, watch your favorite show… recharge your batteries! Because just like those church ladies say, today WAS long, but 5 years later we are going to wonder where all the time went! I am just beginning to see this now that I have some older kiddos. I look back I realize “huh! She really DID end up potty-trained!” or “wow! He actually grew out of that stage at some point!” The toddler years are rough, but those stages that felt endless, finally ended!

At the right moment, someday we will reap our harvest. I hear it’s probably when you become a grand-parent & see your own kids raising their children.

Apparently that’s pretty rewarding. 

The Dish Diva

The Dish Diva

I’d like to say I’m not only the “laundry mistress”, but the “DISH DIVA” as well… but that would be a lie. I hate doing the dishes. I am terrible about keeping up with them & I usually do not.

My husband is a dish stickler. When we first got married, he would get so upset to come home & find dirty dishes (still there from days ago). He wasn’t mad at me, but he wasn’t happy either. He just is picky about the kitchen! Well, I’m clearly picky about the laundry. We discovered around this time that we each had a strength & a weakness here… let’s use them!!

So, as I post about the “DISH DIVA”, you should all know that it’s not me. It’s my husband! I do a few things to help out, but I’m not in charge. I guess it’s just another tip for big families! FIND WHAT WORKS! For us, it’s that I do the laundry & he does the dishes. Occasionally we help each other out when it’s really overwhelming or the other person has a lot of other stuff going on, but it has saved us from many an argument this way!

Now, the other thing that has recently saved us TIME is having our older children UNLOAD the dishes. Usually the boys take the top & the girls take the bottom. They do it as buddies, the oldest child helping the younger child. Also, after meals the older kids clear the table & my oldest daughter rinses all the dishes off.

So, while I’m not the dish diva, I do have respect for this one, because I have never been happier now that the pressure to keep a clean sink is off of me! I let it go & he loads when he gets home… even though it does make me feel good if I get to bless him by doing it before he walks in the door. 

Pantry dreams...

I go though these cycles of being really happy with all that we have, then feeling like we are WAY too big of a family to live in this tiny house (which means I want to move asap).

Before we bought our house, we lived with my parents… for 2 ½ years! It was supposed to only be 6 months to a year, but you know how things go. By the time we saved enough money, found the house we wanted, found out it flooded every year, ended our contract, then found the REAL house we wanted & bought it… 2 ½ years. So, I understand what a huge blessings our home is. However, I had NO idea that we would have five children in this home. I had NO idea what a problem it would be to not have a pantry! I had NO idea how small this house would feel or 

how un-fit it would be for a large family.

One day last week I made a list of all the things I would *like* to have in our next home. 

Things like...

 a mud room

 more bathrooms, bigger bedrooms, a basement 

a room for school

an area for my crafting & sewing

How about a PANTRY???

The list could go on & on… It seems so impossible! It feels like this will never happen, until I’m reminded of this verse:

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart

God knows what’s in my heart for my family. He knows my desire for us to be happy, healthy, & in a home that suits our needs. These things aren't NEEDS for us to SURVIVE, but they certainly would make life with many children easier! I just have to keep on seeking HIM. I just have to keep on trusting HIM for our family’s provision. God is our provider & he knows exactly what we need!

In the meantime, I really enjoy looking at houses online, in magazines & of course on pinterest.  It never hurts to be prepared!