Where We Are

Today I am writing from the laundry room. It is also the pantry. It is also the room where all the crap hangs out... in many forms... the diaper pail is straight across from me!
Needless to say, I'm feeling quite inspired this morning!

So, last week we were struggling. I was feeling a little hopeless with this new regimen for our 4 year old, finishing up our homeschool year, our 7 year old beginning the craziness of baseball season, working on my childbirth educator certification... the list could go on. These are all things I feel we are supposed to be doing. I was just feeling stretched!

Then Wednesday happened. I can't explain it. Our 4 year old just woke up in a great mood!
That NEVER happens!
He was sweet, patient, kind; the little boy I hadn't seen in quite a while.
It was an amazing day. We had a few little meltdowns, but I was able to talk him through it! I stuck with the normal routine. I didn't push the little things, as usual, like socks or matching clothes. He even ASKED to do school!
Again let me remind you...
THAT NEVER HAPPENS!

I tried not to get my hopes up, but I definitely enjoyed the day.
I was expecting an absolutely awful day on Thursday.
It couldn't happen again...
But it did!!!
Then it happened again on FRIDAY!

Please understand, these are not perfect days. These are not even "normal kid" kinda days. But I can honestly say that he was on HIS best behavior about 75% of the time.
HIS best is all I'm shooting for at this point! Any glimmer of hope is accepted!

Weekends are always rough, especially if there's anything out of the ordinary. This last Saturday we had a birthday party... which I have to always prepare myself for the aftermath. He did really great. His usual 15 minutes at a time with the other kids would be followed by another 15 minutes inside by himself. It was a normal party for him. However, what was also normal for us was the exit. I am so glad we were with friends who understand! haha! We left that party with a moaning 4 year old draped across my shoulder.

Then we had church the next morning...

So I say all of this as a precursor for this morning. Today, no one woke up in a good mood, in particular a little 4 year old I know. 30 minutes ago, I'm in the bathroom with kids screaming outside the door:
"I want juice!" "I want breakfast!"
The 1 year old was chanting my name:
"Ma-ma! Ma-ma! Ma-ma!"

It was like before a football game when the players run onto the field... the fog, the lights, the fans chanting their names...
Except I certainly do not get paid like that!

Today, I am getting paid in poopy diapers, time outs, math worksheets, a whole lot of dirty laundry, & hopefully a really big coffee.
No judgements.
It's just where we are!

Every Once In A While I'm a Genius...

Once upon a time, I had lots of free time to think. Clearly this was when I only had a couple of little ones. In fact, once we had #3 free time was long gone.

When I use to have a spare moment, I would come up with brilliant ideas for decorating, organizing & things like that. Pinterest didn't exist. I was my own Pinterest. Well, now things are different. Now I don't have time for thinking. I barely have time for Pinterest. Especially since the baby is starting to nurse less during the day. I really only get to sit & nurse (therefore getting to think for 15 minutes) twice during the day anymore. He still nurses twice in the evening/bedtime hours & at night a couple times. We aren't planning on weaning anytime soon.

But this isn't a post about extended breastfeeding! Haha! I promise!

This is a celebratory post, today! This last week, I had a GENIUS IDEA! We have a real problem with mail at our house. There isn't a good "office" space in our downstairs, so our kitchen becomes the main hub where bills, calendars, keys, school, coupons, etc all reside.

Mail wasn't getting sorted. Bills were getting lost. As a result, they were not getting paid on time. Bad news...

One day, however, it hit me as I was making breakfast. "These oatmeal containers would fit envelopes really well." Wait... Mail comes in envelopes! BRILLIANT!

I went to my "trash collecting" area in the garage. I have every container we've ever purchased food in. There are egg cartons, yogurt cups, paper towel rolls, Happy Baby puffs containers, and much, much more. There are also approximately 20 oatmeal containers. I keep this stuff for crafts, and I'm so glad I did.

Here's the finished product. I hung them with 3m strips. It's still in need of labels & if I could do it again I would cover the outsides of the cans with some sort of paper. In fact, I might re-do it that way in the future. But for now, the piles of mail are under control, and I'm a happy momma. Not only did I have this marvelous idea, but I FINISHED IT! Now that's saying something.

A very big day...

Yesterday was a big day!

It was the long-awaited appointment for our son with the alternative doctor. 

I stayed up late Sunday night typing up his 3-day food diary, a chronological history of his life including (but not limited to) symptoms, and a page with our main concerns & goals. 

I woke up yesterday morning with a migraine, but brushed it off as best as I could because 

I couldn’t let anything else distract me. 

This day was about my sweet boy.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. We had opinions on a “diagnosis”, but nothing from anyone we actually wanted to work with. This doctor, in our opinion, was the expert on kids behavior disorders & treating them holistically, as opposed to medically. To be going to her and getting what was, in our opinion, the real diagnosis… definitely scary, but exciting.

We sat in her office, talking about his life. When she asked about vaccinations, and I told her about the reactions he had at 2,4,6 months& again at 15 months (the usual DTap, MMR, Chicken Pox) she said… “Wow! Youguys are so lucky he isn’t completely autistic!” 

*Especially considering the antibiotic he was put on at that same 15 month appointment 

for an ear infection. Talk about a compromised immune system!

At one point I was starting to feel really guilty, and I just felt my son lean his head on my shoulder, 

as if to say, “It’s ok mommy”. 

Then she started on what we’ve been doing to deal with the struggles. We took away Gluten, most sugars, all dyes; we give him lavender or an Essential Oils blend called “Peaceful Child” at least 2 or 3 times a day; we give him chamomile drops in his water twice a day. That’s when I started to feel ok.

She was so relieved that we weren’t started from ground zero with him. 

She commended us for going with our gut when we suspected Gluten intolerance. 

She was impressed with our use of oils & herbs. 

She was extremely pleased with the reduced sugars and dyes, 

telling us this is usually shocking news to most parents. 

PHEW! What a relief! 

Sometimes you just need a good pat on the back! Sometimes, as a mom, you need to hear someone other than your husband tell you you’re making the right choices. 

I knew we had been doing good things, but it often felt like just a whirlwind of options that all 

could be right for our son.  

When you’re in the middle of a storm and the rain is blowing sideways, 

it’s hard to tell if you’re umbrella’s working or not… IT’S ALL SO WET! 

So, basically we found out that our umbrellas were working!

What is going on? Well we were right that our son does have Autism Spectrum Disorder. 

He also has ADHD. I was a little shocked by this, because he is not outwardly hyperactive. He has trouble sitting still and is very boisterous, but I know ADHD kids & it didn’t look like my son. 

The way she explained it was genius. 

His ADHD all takes place inside. 

He is never at rest. So much that all his body’s systems are moving at such a fast-paced rate that they aren’t processing things properly. His digestive system is a wreck, because his body is essentially heating up everything as it passes through due to such rapid activity.

We are treating him with herbs, supplements, digestive enzymes & probiotics… right down my alley! 

I cannot wait to see what God has in store for this little guy. 

He is overflowing with potential, and we are just using natural remedies 

to help his body begin to heal it self. 

Our goal is to help him succeed in life, 

with as few struggles as possible…

For now that means I have 4 boxes on my counter dividing his drops & supplements 

by morning, evening, bedtime, mealtimes. 

A little overwhelming, but I am really looking forward to the 

journey we are starting right now!

Keep following Everyday Is Laundry Day for updates on our ASD/ADHD journey…

The Color Blue

Today is my first blog back after the Easter & Passover holidays. I decided I needed a break for a couple weeks. I needed time to re-group.

We have been on this roller-coaster in the past year with our middle son. He is 4 1/2, and has lots of behavioral and social delays on the Autism Spectrum. We are in the very beginning of this process with him. It took me a good 6 months to even use the term "Autism Spectrum Disorder". I felt like if I acknowledged what we were dealing with that I was "labeling" him. I had been carrying around this burden for months, years even; since he first started behaving differently than other kids his age. I felt responsible, almost guilty, for what was happening to my son! There were several moments that I felt had contributed. As parents, it's hard to see your child struggle, and to think that a decision you made could have started it all is often too much. It was for me! The reality though, was that I needed to give it a name. Giving it a name would allow me to start helping him recover.

I truly believe that he will recover. I have already seen changes since we began certain routines. We have kept him on a strictly Gluten-free diet, and noticed a significant difference within about 3 days, then again at 2 weeks. He's still at that same place now, but any little change is a big one when you're walking through this with your child. We have just begun to dive into all the Essential Oils options, and have an appointment with a natural, alternative doctor next week.

I am still hopeful. I look forward to the day that he can walk into a room full of other children and not have an anxiety attack. I can't wait to see him have meaningful relationships someday. Sheesh- I look forward to the first day there's not a screaming meltdown over someone talking to him while he's playing! He will do those things. He will do more!

Today as I am writing this, it is Autism Awareness Day. Last year this day meant nothing. Today, however, I am completely aware. This disorder has become a part of my daily life. The motto for the Autism Awareness Month is "Light It Up Blue". People everywhere are wearing blue, putting blue lightbulbs in, and spreading the word that these children are just as "bright" as every other child... just a different light. It holds a special place in my heart, because my special boy's FAVORITE color, to the point of obsession, is BLUE! How perfect is that?! How perfect is he!

Snow in March

For all my friends, you had to know this was coming. My rant on snow. Haha! I stood in my doorway this morning, wearing jammies & slippers, shaking my fist at the snow. Again?! it's snowing again?! But I thought I should explain myself...

My birthday is March 7. If you know me at all, you know that this is a very important day for me. In my younger years, this was selfish... "a day all about me!" But since my 19th birthday a few things have changed. See on my 19th birthday, I went to the doctor. I thought I had cancer. She told me I was pregnant. Life has never been the same. I walked into that office a child, and came out an adult.

So I have learned that if I don't strive to make my birthday an exciting, fun time... It can easily become a very introspective, almost sad time. That was a very emotionally traumatizing day for me, as you can imagine, to walk out of that office being expected to tell my mother, father, brothers, boyfriend, and pretty much the rest of the world how BIG of a mistake I had made. Now, God's grace covers my multitude of sins. Have no fear, I do not dwell in that shame. But every year it does cross my mind... A lot.

So please understand that while I LOVE the beauty, peacefulness, and significance of a snow fall... I need a little sunshine on March 7. I need flowers poking through the cold ground. I need to see the new life of spring that reminds me of all that comes AFTER the long, hard winter is over.

Plus, one year my birthday party got cancelled because of a snow storm & it was completely heart breaking. Haha! But mostly because of all that other stuff.

A Date With My Darling Daughter

Every year on my birthday, I take my oldest daughter on a date. We do it on her birthday, too. We go to the nail salon for pedicures. This year my birthday week is particularly busy, so we went a week early. I know many moms who are anti "pampering" for their daughters...
Well I say pish-posh! Twice a year pedicures will not spoil my daughter, at least not any more than I'd like her spoiled. I think every little girl deserves to know how she *should* be treated:
• having doors opened for her
• being treated like a lady
• getting pampered every once in a while
• going fancy places

We had the BEST time together last night, sitting in those massage chairs. At one point I looked at her with a smile... we reached across the "aisle" between us & held hands for a while. Then, we got matching nail polish: hot pink with gold sparkles.

It was just what we both needed. We got away from screaming toddlers, away from our to-do lists & chores... we drank coffee (& a juice box) while getting our feet scrubbed & rubbed... it was a perfect date!

Start the conversation below! Do you take your daughter(s) on a dates? What's your favorite date idea?

What I Could Have Noticed...

Last week, I was feeling brave. I ventured into the garage for "THE BOXES". These are not just any boxes, it's the {what seems like} 100 plastic bins full of out-of-season clothing. They are perfectly sorted by size and gender. There are boxes of shoes for girls and boys. There are keepsake boxes of things like that special shirt #1 wore every other day (so I could wash it) when he was 3, or the maternity shirt I wore for my 2 last weeks with #3 because I was so big I fit into nothing else. Good memories are in those boxes of onesies and sweet smelling baby clothes. They are some of my favorite memories, in fact.

What I was NOT expecting to find, however, was a pattern. We have been going through a rather difficult season lately with our 4 year old. I have some appointments in the next few weeks to pin-point exactly what is going on, but for now I just know we are dealing with tough stuff! When the words "disorder" are used, it's just plain hard, you know?!

So, back to the BOXES...
I went through the giant, stinky box of boy shoes. I rarely go into this box because for one, it's a pile of disorganized shoes, but also because of the smell. Boys have smelly feet. My special boy #3 had smelly feet as an infant! As I laid them all out in pairs, I began to notice the amount of "Converse" and "Crocs" that were piling up. I had a pair in EVERY size. My oldest didn't wear any of them. It was Mr. 4 Year Old! He will only wear these 2 kinds of shoes! Part of his issue is with clothing: certain pants *hurt* him, he won't wear socks because "they're stabbing" his feet, shirts can NOT have tags, and long sleeves are often an issue as well. You can imagine how fun winter is for us! Haha! In a perfect world, he would wear only a comfy, tagless t-shirt & his underwear 24-7! Unfortunately we can't go out of the house like that...

It just made me sad to see 4 years of this pattern. You might say I am reading too much into it, but for us it's been such a life-changing process we have entered in the past couple months that EVERYTHING is significant lately. All these things are popping up as we realize his whole life, all these little picky things, are related. In one way I feel sad, but I also am excited!

We didn't know how to help him before! But now, as I discover friends who have walked down this road (or roads similar), as I research, as we seek out help... I am finding new ways to connect with my son. I feel like we are getting a brand new relationship through all of this. I am learning so much about him that I was never able to see before!

I can not wait to learn more about him as we continue on this new journey!