The Color Blue

Today is my first blog back after the Easter & Passover holidays. I decided I needed a break for a couple weeks. I needed time to re-group.

We have been on this roller-coaster in the past year with our middle son. He is 4 1/2, and has lots of behavioral and social delays on the Autism Spectrum. We are in the very beginning of this process with him. It took me a good 6 months to even use the term "Autism Spectrum Disorder". I felt like if I acknowledged what we were dealing with that I was "labeling" him. I had been carrying around this burden for months, years even; since he first started behaving differently than other kids his age. I felt responsible, almost guilty, for what was happening to my son! There were several moments that I felt had contributed. As parents, it's hard to see your child struggle, and to think that a decision you made could have started it all is often too much. It was for me! The reality though, was that I needed to give it a name. Giving it a name would allow me to start helping him recover.

I truly believe that he will recover. I have already seen changes since we began certain routines. We have kept him on a strictly Gluten-free diet, and noticed a significant difference within about 3 days, then again at 2 weeks. He's still at that same place now, but any little change is a big one when you're walking through this with your child. We have just begun to dive into all the Essential Oils options, and have an appointment with a natural, alternative doctor next week.

I am still hopeful. I look forward to the day that he can walk into a room full of other children and not have an anxiety attack. I can't wait to see him have meaningful relationships someday. Sheesh- I look forward to the first day there's not a screaming meltdown over someone talking to him while he's playing! He will do those things. He will do more!

Today as I am writing this, it is Autism Awareness Day. Last year this day meant nothing. Today, however, I am completely aware. This disorder has become a part of my daily life. The motto for the Autism Awareness Month is "Light It Up Blue". People everywhere are wearing blue, putting blue lightbulbs in, and spreading the word that these children are just as "bright" as every other child... just a different light. It holds a special place in my heart, because my special boy's FAVORITE color, to the point of obsession, is BLUE! How perfect is that?! How perfect is he!