Yesterday, Michael & I had our 6th wedding anniversary. I always forget about how wonderful it is to be married to my best friend. Certain days like yesterday remind me!
We met when we were practically children... I was 12 & he was 13! We went to church together, but his sister was friends with my usual ride home, so we were frequently the "little kids" at post-youth group hang out. We had fun together, but were just really great friends!
I remember the day that started to change about a year later. I just looked at him differently one day & thought (at 13- lol) "he's the kind of guy I want to marry".
I have these snapshots of high school in my head. We had SO MUCH fun just hanging out... well, in our spare time. I didn't have time to think about what "could be". I was too focused on God, school & cheerleading to think about anything else. We also spent all that time with our other best friend, Hope. The summer befor Michael's senior year was the best 2 months EVER! She was leaving for college, which meant the 3 of us naturally had to spend every waking moment together. However, it was inevitable that as she went off to college, we'd be sort of forced together.
2 weeks before Hope left, he took me home one night (I had just turned 16, but he lived right by our house) & we had the conversation that started it all. It started with "soooo... yeah. We need to talk". It was the game changer!
3 years of dating, 6 years of marriage & 5 kids later... I have never had so much fun with any one person! We laugh A LOT! Perhaps that's the key! Laugh as much as you love!
When we were dating in high school, both of us had part time jobs, but they were across the street from each other. So, whoever got off first would go leave a note on the other's windshield. Seems silly now, but I have each note still & despite the silliness, it's part of our story!!
Ha! No time for love notes now, but we sure do like to text! :) So, to remember those silly times, here are 5 "notes" I wrote to my hubby recently. Michael, I hope they help you remember how all this craziness started... with these kind of notes (ha! Sort of!!) I love you!!!
1. I just changed the 10th diaper of the day! Hope your day is less "poopy" than mine!! :)
2. So, maybe later we can put on our sweat pants & put a pizza in the oven! I think we have some shows to catch up on. (How romantic!)
3. Can you stop by the store on your way home? We're out of the usual. Love you!!
4. I. Need. Coffee. Please!!!
5. Hey good lookin... where did you put the plunger? Oh! & thanks for putting diapers in the dryer before you left! You are THE BEST EVER!!! XOXO
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Coffee & Christmas
Baby Ezrah is 2 1/2 weeks old & we've had quite a crazy couple of weeks!
First off, I'm glad to say that his spitting up is not caused by mommy's coffee!! Praise the Lord!! Lol. Unfortunately it is a broccoli issue, so I have to find a different lunch solution... perhaps a post on some high protein, quick lunch ideas in the future... :)
I also should say MERRY Christmas!! We had an amazing time last Sunday. Since we have a newborn, we made sure that our families came to us (no cousins though, so we kept germ spreading to a minimum). It was an entire day of grandparents, hugs & presents.
I posted on facebook this week that Christmas is just different when you have kids. It's all about them & only a little about you. But even the little bit about you becomes about them when you see what they have given you. It shows their heart & soul in one little gift they've picked out for you.
This year my 6 year old gave me a silver necklace that says "MOM". It's not overly fancy or expensive. He picked it out in June, after Mothers Day was over, & hid it until Christmas. He was so proud to see me open it. He was even MORE proud to see me wear it!
I hope you all had a fantastic time with your families! I will post again after the new year!!
First off, I'm glad to say that his spitting up is not caused by mommy's coffee!! Praise the Lord!! Lol. Unfortunately it is a broccoli issue, so I have to find a different lunch solution... perhaps a post on some high protein, quick lunch ideas in the future... :)
I also should say MERRY Christmas!! We had an amazing time last Sunday. Since we have a newborn, we made sure that our families came to us (no cousins though, so we kept germ spreading to a minimum). It was an entire day of grandparents, hugs & presents.
I posted on facebook this week that Christmas is just different when you have kids. It's all about them & only a little about you. But even the little bit about you becomes about them when you see what they have given you. It shows their heart & soul in one little gift they've picked out for you.
This year my 6 year old gave me a silver necklace that says "MOM". It's not overly fancy or expensive. He picked it out in June, after Mothers Day was over, & hid it until Christmas. He was so proud to see me open it. He was even MORE proud to see me wear it!
I hope you all had a fantastic time with your families! I will post again after the new year!!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Birth Story
Here's the story of Ezrah's amazing homebirth:
On Thursday, Dec 8 (2 days before my due date), I was having "one of those days" with the kids. I think I even posted my facebook status as "today is a welcome home daddy, I'm going to hide in the bathroom- kind of days". I was tired. I was feeling stressed. The kids were on the edge of craziness. As Michael walked in the door at 4:30, I sort of collapsed onto him. My wonderful husband saw my desperation, and without hesitation, he cooked dinner, played with the kids & did those dishes that I had never gotten to while I showered in peace.
I showered for a while. As I relaxed, I started having contractions. They were what I call "the tricky contractions". You know, the ones that make you second guess if you are actually in labor. They are uncomfortable, but only for about 30 seconds, so it's bearable. I brushed them off. I probably just needed to eat & drink some extra water.
After dinner, we loaded up the kids & my enormous list, heading for the store! Contractions were still happening, but I still was not paying attention. We walked through the store, with my uterus secretly contracting. I wasn't going to tell Michael yet, but I told the Lord "if you want this baby to come, we are going to need food, so give me a couple more hours!"
The contractions became more regular, but we made it home. They were 10 minutes apart! I am a smart woman & I knew my early labor in the hospital was always the longest... & that was with cervadyl or pitocin (boo!) to drive the contractions! So, we sent a text to our Midwife & one of my best friends, Teresa, who would be my doula/whatever I needed at the birth. I told them to be prepared to get a call in the night, but it might be another week. Haha! I really did not want to get my hopes up! So we picked up the kitchen & went to bed. I remember waking up with a few contractions, but then I remember dreaming about others. Some time in the night, they slowed down to every 20 minutes.
When I woke up on Friday morning, I was disappointed to find myself waiting 20-30 minutes between contractions. I had decided, however, that those had definitely been real contractions & we were probably going to have the baby sometime in the next week.
If that baby was coming in a few days I wanted to make sure I was ready. So, I went to the chiropractor. That always helps! Dr. Jen adjusted me & announced "Well, something is definitely going on. Your round ligaments have never been this tight!". Ha! That is music to a pregnant mommy's ears! I thought, for sure we'll have a baby this next week! I went home, took some Evening Primrose Oil (which prepares a mother's uterus & cervix for labor), & sent Michael to work because "nothing is happening today"! An hour later, my contractions went back to every 10 minutes!!!
I called my parents to come over. I felt like I didn't want to be alone with the kids, but I still wanted to be with them. We decided that I should keep moving. Each time I would sit or lay down, the contractions would slow down a little. So, we loaded up the kids (again). I texted Teresa & said "if this isn't it, at least I'm getting exercise!" We went to Target & walked... & walked... & walked. I probably took the kids to the bathroom 10x & with every contraction I would need to pee anyway, so it was no big deal!
Somewhere during my 8th potty trip, I noticed I had been having lots more contractions. I opened up my "contraction timer" app on my iPhone & realized THEY WERE AT EVERY 5 MINUTES! I didn't want to freak anyone out (especially myself) and I still wanted to help my mom finish Christmas shopping, so I with-held the "5 minute" info for a bit... that is, until my mom said "didn't you JUST have a contraction?" I replied, "ummm... yes, 5 minutes ago!" She frantically tried to find my dad & the boys in the toy department. I decided I should probably let Michael know, but I still wasn't convinced it would be "the night". Part ignorance, part denial & part just silly pregnant lady!
So, I texted him at work. He called me, but I was in the middle of a contraction being timed & had to call him back. Keep in mind, this is all in an aisle at Target! Haha! I nonchalantly told him we were "wrapping it up here & heading home. I'll call you if they get more intense!" Well, he is a very wise husband & knew we were closer than I was admitting. He said "I think I'll leave & meet you at home". Good call, dad!
As I sat in the passenger seat of my parents van, with my mom driving recklessly and my dad getting nervous in the back with my four kids, I felt a little reminiscent. First of all, I reminded them that I would not give birth in their van, so we could all calm down! But 6 years ago I was 19 years old, pregnant & in that van, feeling my very first baby move for the very first time. I had my first maternal moments there & it felt very surreal to be in labor with my 5th child in that same vehicle! How far we've come!!
We got home, but I didn't want to call anyone until I knew this was it! "I'll take another shower," was my thought. I figured if the contractions were from stress bc I had been walking for 2 hours, that a shower would calm things down. Teresa reminded me ibn a text that "5 min apart is no joke!". As I stood under the water, they began to get intense. I was trying to time them on my phone & found that they were getting closer with each contraction. Holy cow!!! I'm having contractions every three minutes! THIS IS IT!
I quickly turned off the shower & called Michael, who was making the kids dinner downstairs. I said "we are having a baby! I'm calling Jessica & Teresa!" Within about 30-45 minutes our Midwife, Jessica was at the door. First thing, she checked my cervix & I was 5 cm dilated, but would stretch to 6. With the other kids, 5 cm was the magic number. I always had a baby shortly after reaching that marker (45 min later w one & even 20 min w another) Despite that, I was still super calm & patient. I never felt like I needed to rush things. I never felt out of control. We called Michael's mom & my grandma. For the next hour I was just "doing life". Between contractions I was making the bed (where I had planned on giving birth), washing Eliza's hair, getting Eli to eat his broccoli, & eating dinner. This birth would just be part of our life... just as it should be!
7:45 Teresa had arrived & was boiling herbs for after birth. Jessica's assistant, Genieve had arrived. I was just drinking water & walking around the house, pausing or leaning against the wall during peaks of contractions. Moving around was the key! Every once in a while, I'd need Michael to rub my lower back, but it wasn't ever too much to handle... Well, until about 8:15.
We had put a movie on for the kids. They had eaten, been bathed & were in jammies! I was talking to my dad in the kitchen when I felt "THE contraction". I looked at Michael & said "I think I want to go upstairs now". He knew. I still didn't grasp all that he did. Thank God! I think if I knew what was about to happen, I would have lost control! The Lord knew I needed that!
I had one contraction on the side of the bed, as Michael turned on my "birth playlist", then another soon after. He suggested I go change into my gown, so my water didn't break in my sweats. He knew what was important to me. Ha! The next contraction was intense. I made it to the bathroom to change, but told him as I got there, "something is about to happen". About 2 minutes later, (before my sweats were off... of course) my water broke. A minute later, I had another contraction & announced "my body is ready to push!" The next 5 minutes are almost unreal!
I had a contraction & felt the urge to push. So... I did. Jessica suddenly said "I have his head in my hands"! I pushed again... his shoulders. I pushed again... His body! 8:37 pm, I held my beautiful baby boy in my arms! We had to unravel his umbilical cord from around his arms & legs, but as I practically fell to the floor on top of Michael, I just sighed! As I had pushed him out, that very song, "Worth It All" came on in our room! It was this unbelievable moment! I had not only had a baby with no drugs, but I had that baby at home, without fear of the unknown & really, REALLY FAST!! I wasn't scared of what "could" happen, because I knew that this is what God had created a woman's body to do! Now, I am still completely weirded-out that I had a baby in our bathroom. But how perfect is it, that at the end of this amazing journey, God would have me humble myself even more as I bring His new life into the world.
As we held him in those first moments, we fell so in love. I just held him close & nursed him for probably 30 minutes. We got all cleaned up & brought the kids in to meet their new brother. I have never seen such excitement. They were so happy! In fact, for days after, Efton would tell his new baby "I'm so glad you are here!!". The kids got to watch the baby be measured & announced his weight (a perfect 7 lbs.) downstairs to the grandparents. We spent the most beautiful first moments together! My favorite part is that he was born in the very place he will grow up. This is where we live, but mostly where we love! It's our home!
Grandparents came in to see Ezrah, the ladies cleaned things up & before I knew it, Michael had kids tucked in bed. We both just laid there, looking at him in amazement of what had happened. There was just an understanding. A knowing of what had taken place, but an astonishment of even the past 9 months. It has been an awesome journey. I've grown more than I thought I could. I've ventured into new places (aka: homebirth) that I never imagined. And for a bonus... I get to have the sweetest, most relaxed little baby boy ever! He nurses well. He sleeps well. He is healthy! I can't wait to see what this next season holds for our family... it's gonna have to be pretty awesome to top this!
*See "My Journey to Ezrah" for part 1 to this post
My Journey To Ezrah
Well, baby Ezrah arrived on Friday, December 9th. He is 7 lbs exactly. 20 inches long. Oh, and completely perfect! :)
As promised to my facebook followers, here is part one of our birth story:
At 5:30 am on Saturday, April 5, I was up early preparing for a craft show. I had started a handmade children's boutique in the fall that I mostly ran online, but craft fairs were always a huge success! I am still amazed that I took a pregnancy test that day... of all days! But I did. And it was positive! I woke up Michael to tell him the news. He said "I knew it. God told me last week!". Then he hugged me, said "its gonna be great! Don't worry." WHAT?! God told you last week? I was freaking out! Here I am, ready to send 2 kids to school in the fall, Ester is not nursing around the clock anymore, I have a business, a part-time job at church, we finally have all our bills covered... I am so close to having a life!
I then headed to my MOST un-successful craft show EVER! I sold one hairbow for $2. During the show, Elias got sick. I wasn't there with him & it broke my heart!
See, God knew I needed to trust HIM. I was trusting in a million other things like my own abilities, our jobs to provide (instead of God) & even was ignoring my instincts as a mom because I thought that is what I HAD to do. I was not happy. I just was distracting myself.
My first trimester was miserable. It was completely opposite of the other four pregnancies. With the others, I barely had a symptom! In fact, with Efton, we didn't even know I was pregnant until 16 weeks! So with this pregnancy, I was still nursing & had been running myself crazy between kid stuff and all my part-time jobs. I was worn down. God had to get my attention. That's truly why I feel this first trimester was so different. It forced me to do only what I needed to. I had to back off with all the extra things. That failed craft show really was a turning point. My kids needed me, and I wasn't making myself available. Instead, I had been running from it!
About 6 weeks later, I was 10 weeks pregnant & my exhaustion was fading. Morning sickness was a random thing rather than the "all day sickness" I had been having!
I started really thinking about our life & how having a 5th baby would change things; how it should change things. I started reading books, online articles & praying... a lot! I wanted to surround myself with the atmosphere I needed. I wanted to have as much knowledge & wisdom as possible to help me make the wisest, most informed choices for our family! The first big decisions I made? Homeschooling & eating better.
Choosing to homeschool was as much a spiritual choice as it was logistical. We knew it was the only other option for our family if we couldn't do Christian School. Taking kids to 1/2 day preschool & full day 1st grade, plus picking them up would take up an entire day if I calculated how long it takes to buckle kids in & out of the car. All I'd do all day long is buckle kids, drive, feed them, & put little ones down for naps only to wake them up to leave again! AND I would be doing this pregnant the first semester, then have a newborn the 2nd semester! It was insane when I started to really think it out. So we decided to homeschool. Which again, meant more research & more reading, but it's been so worth it!! I could go on & on, but you can read about it in my previous post entitled "Jan Fed the Hens".
Eating better was just smart. Let me just clarify, we ate healthy...ish. What needed to change was the kind of foods we were eating. It was all so processed, full of sugar & preservatives (once we started reading labels, that is). I knew better, but just wasn't making the decision! We were going to have a baby in the middle of cold & flu season. I was nourishing him with what I was eating NOW! Now was the time to start! In our process of switching to fresher, more nutrient-dense food, we started feeling better. We discovered Eli's gluten-intolerance, which is directly linked to his behavior. I was able to control my ADD through cutting out excess sugars & carbs. It's been amazing.
One thing led to another. Once we found homeschool resources, they led me to large-family resources. I was able to organize our life to be fitting of a large family, rather than a small-er size family that is squeezing a few extras in. Haha! As we found nutrition information, our eyes were opened to a whole new world of natural living, which ended up being not only better for us, but cheaper! And cheaper was definitely better since by my 20 week appointment, I had officially quit my part-time jobs. My family was now my job & I was discovering that I really liked it!
Around 14 weeks, Michael suggested that I look into having a homebirth. Ha! I told him he was crazy! Just because we are going to homeschool, and have 5 kids, does not mean I have to grow out my hair, wear long skirts & have a homebirth!!
A couple weeks later, my friend Teresa (who had a homebirth with their daughter) texted me. She had a dream about me:
"I had a dream last night that you had a homebirth and I was your doula and the midwife didn't make it in time so I delivered you!! Lol. you were a rockstar homebirther in my dream! And I used dental floss to tie off the umbilical cord and a pair of your sewing scissors to cut it!"
I laughed at the text. However, I feel like our dreams usually mean something. I began to look into it. Much to my disgust, homebirth isn't necessarily something you want to google without warning. Haha! So, I started talking about it with her & our friend Abbey at a playdate that week. We met at Starbucks one night & talked about birth for 4 hours until they kicked us out. The poor men across from us had to hear things like "placenta" & "episiotomy" while they worked. Haha!
She gave me a couple books, and I read them that week. I was convinced!! After seeing all the research & reading a bazillion homebirth stories online, I KNEW! It was exactly what I wanted for our family!
See, we had 3 wonderful hospital inductions. I never felt "robbed" of a good birth, but honestly didn't know any different! I mean, what 19 year old knows anything about birth, much less natural birth! I was terrified of it, actually. So, I listened to my doctor, who induced me the first time at 41 weeks because if I went into labor past that, he would be out of town. The second pregnancy he was supposed to be gone the week of my due date as well. So, he induced at 39 weeks because "everything looks the same as before". Looking back, I wish I would've given my body the chance to do what it was made for!
We switched doctors after that, due to insurance, but I know it was the hand of God! My new doctor was as natural & holistic as an OB can be! I wasn't there yet, but she was! Unfortunately, I was really struggling in my 3rd pregnancy. I was dealing with more ADD symptoms than ever before & was just really impatient! I hadn't learned how to rest in the Lord's timing! So, I asked to be induced at 39 weeks. The nurses said I was barely dilated, so they "couldn't" (aka, wouldn't) give me cervadyl, even though my other experiences had been so great! I was induced with pitocin. It made me sick. It caused Elias to have an irregular heartbeat during labor. His cord got wrapped around his neck during contractions, which were so hard & unnatural that I asked for an epidural, but they had to break my water first. Everything was done too soon. We were moments away from a C-section, when he finally was able to move down & labor progressed. A couple hours later, he was born. But I was emotionally not the same.
We had our 4th baby a week early as well (I didn't quite see the connection). I requested cervadyl to induce & demanded that no pitocin be used. At this point I was still believing the first doctor, who had me think my body just "doesnt do it on it's own"! We had Ester with no pain medication, no epidural & it was the single most empowering moment of my life! It truly changed me.
So, now it wasn't just about "conquering" a birth. I knew I could do it. This was about more than just me, but about our family. I didn't have a "vision" for it, but knew it felt right. But then this awesome thing happened. I saw a birth video on YouTube. The song that played in the background was called "Worth It All". The pictures of this family's birth as their children kissed their new baby were precious & they looked how I knew I wanted to feel! It was the most beautiful experience I'd ever witnessed. I bawled that night, watching it as the kids slept. I wanted that beautiful, peaceful homebirth!
For Part 2 CLICK HERE... :D
As promised to my facebook followers, here is part one of our birth story:
At 5:30 am on Saturday, April 5, I was up early preparing for a craft show. I had started a handmade children's boutique in the fall that I mostly ran online, but craft fairs were always a huge success! I am still amazed that I took a pregnancy test that day... of all days! But I did. And it was positive! I woke up Michael to tell him the news. He said "I knew it. God told me last week!". Then he hugged me, said "its gonna be great! Don't worry." WHAT?! God told you last week? I was freaking out! Here I am, ready to send 2 kids to school in the fall, Ester is not nursing around the clock anymore, I have a business, a part-time job at church, we finally have all our bills covered... I am so close to having a life!
I then headed to my MOST un-successful craft show EVER! I sold one hairbow for $2. During the show, Elias got sick. I wasn't there with him & it broke my heart!
See, God knew I needed to trust HIM. I was trusting in a million other things like my own abilities, our jobs to provide (instead of God) & even was ignoring my instincts as a mom because I thought that is what I HAD to do. I was not happy. I just was distracting myself.
My first trimester was miserable. It was completely opposite of the other four pregnancies. With the others, I barely had a symptom! In fact, with Efton, we didn't even know I was pregnant until 16 weeks! So with this pregnancy, I was still nursing & had been running myself crazy between kid stuff and all my part-time jobs. I was worn down. God had to get my attention. That's truly why I feel this first trimester was so different. It forced me to do only what I needed to. I had to back off with all the extra things. That failed craft show really was a turning point. My kids needed me, and I wasn't making myself available. Instead, I had been running from it!
About 6 weeks later, I was 10 weeks pregnant & my exhaustion was fading. Morning sickness was a random thing rather than the "all day sickness" I had been having!
I started really thinking about our life & how having a 5th baby would change things; how it should change things. I started reading books, online articles & praying... a lot! I wanted to surround myself with the atmosphere I needed. I wanted to have as much knowledge & wisdom as possible to help me make the wisest, most informed choices for our family! The first big decisions I made? Homeschooling & eating better.
Choosing to homeschool was as much a spiritual choice as it was logistical. We knew it was the only other option for our family if we couldn't do Christian School. Taking kids to 1/2 day preschool & full day 1st grade, plus picking them up would take up an entire day if I calculated how long it takes to buckle kids in & out of the car. All I'd do all day long is buckle kids, drive, feed them, & put little ones down for naps only to wake them up to leave again! AND I would be doing this pregnant the first semester, then have a newborn the 2nd semester! It was insane when I started to really think it out. So we decided to homeschool. Which again, meant more research & more reading, but it's been so worth it!! I could go on & on, but you can read about it in my previous post entitled "Jan Fed the Hens".
Eating better was just smart. Let me just clarify, we ate healthy...ish. What needed to change was the kind of foods we were eating. It was all so processed, full of sugar & preservatives (once we started reading labels, that is). I knew better, but just wasn't making the decision! We were going to have a baby in the middle of cold & flu season. I was nourishing him with what I was eating NOW! Now was the time to start! In our process of switching to fresher, more nutrient-dense food, we started feeling better. We discovered Eli's gluten-intolerance, which is directly linked to his behavior. I was able to control my ADD through cutting out excess sugars & carbs. It's been amazing.
One thing led to another. Once we found homeschool resources, they led me to large-family resources. I was able to organize our life to be fitting of a large family, rather than a small-er size family that is squeezing a few extras in. Haha! As we found nutrition information, our eyes were opened to a whole new world of natural living, which ended up being not only better for us, but cheaper! And cheaper was definitely better since by my 20 week appointment, I had officially quit my part-time jobs. My family was now my job & I was discovering that I really liked it!
Around 14 weeks, Michael suggested that I look into having a homebirth. Ha! I told him he was crazy! Just because we are going to homeschool, and have 5 kids, does not mean I have to grow out my hair, wear long skirts & have a homebirth!!
A couple weeks later, my friend Teresa (who had a homebirth with their daughter) texted me. She had a dream about me:
"I had a dream last night that you had a homebirth and I was your doula and the midwife didn't make it in time so I delivered you!! Lol. you were a rockstar homebirther in my dream! And I used dental floss to tie off the umbilical cord and a pair of your sewing scissors to cut it!"
I laughed at the text. However, I feel like our dreams usually mean something. I began to look into it. Much to my disgust, homebirth isn't necessarily something you want to google without warning. Haha! So, I started talking about it with her & our friend Abbey at a playdate that week. We met at Starbucks one night & talked about birth for 4 hours until they kicked us out. The poor men across from us had to hear things like "placenta" & "episiotomy" while they worked. Haha!
She gave me a couple books, and I read them that week. I was convinced!! After seeing all the research & reading a bazillion homebirth stories online, I KNEW! It was exactly what I wanted for our family!
See, we had 3 wonderful hospital inductions. I never felt "robbed" of a good birth, but honestly didn't know any different! I mean, what 19 year old knows anything about birth, much less natural birth! I was terrified of it, actually. So, I listened to my doctor, who induced me the first time at 41 weeks because if I went into labor past that, he would be out of town. The second pregnancy he was supposed to be gone the week of my due date as well. So, he induced at 39 weeks because "everything looks the same as before". Looking back, I wish I would've given my body the chance to do what it was made for!
We switched doctors after that, due to insurance, but I know it was the hand of God! My new doctor was as natural & holistic as an OB can be! I wasn't there yet, but she was! Unfortunately, I was really struggling in my 3rd pregnancy. I was dealing with more ADD symptoms than ever before & was just really impatient! I hadn't learned how to rest in the Lord's timing! So, I asked to be induced at 39 weeks. The nurses said I was barely dilated, so they "couldn't" (aka, wouldn't) give me cervadyl, even though my other experiences had been so great! I was induced with pitocin. It made me sick. It caused Elias to have an irregular heartbeat during labor. His cord got wrapped around his neck during contractions, which were so hard & unnatural that I asked for an epidural, but they had to break my water first. Everything was done too soon. We were moments away from a C-section, when he finally was able to move down & labor progressed. A couple hours later, he was born. But I was emotionally not the same.
We had our 4th baby a week early as well (I didn't quite see the connection). I requested cervadyl to induce & demanded that no pitocin be used. At this point I was still believing the first doctor, who had me think my body just "doesnt do it on it's own"! We had Ester with no pain medication, no epidural & it was the single most empowering moment of my life! It truly changed me.
So, now it wasn't just about "conquering" a birth. I knew I could do it. This was about more than just me, but about our family. I didn't have a "vision" for it, but knew it felt right. But then this awesome thing happened. I saw a birth video on YouTube. The song that played in the background was called "Worth It All". The pictures of this family's birth as their children kissed their new baby were precious & they looked how I knew I wanted to feel! It was the most beautiful experience I'd ever witnessed. I bawled that night, watching it as the kids slept. I wanted that beautiful, peaceful homebirth!
For Part 2 CLICK HERE... :D
Thursday, December 8, 2011
The JOYS of BOYS
Since baby will be here any day now, I've been reminiscing about the other kids, particularly the boys, when they were born. The addition of boy #3 will bring many new elements to our family, but there's just something about boys that brings out a strange combination of exhaustion, laughter & love in a mommy! I've been observing my 2 boys the past few days, and also have been endlessly doing laundry. (yay for nesting!) I once read a parenting book in which the author talks about what she finds in the laundry & how it speaks of the things her children find important! Haha! Oh, I've found a few things lately... here are the top 3:
1. Army men.
I am pretty sure I find an army man at least once a week. They are either in a pocket from someone's jeans, or very frequently found in balled up socks (I just wash, I don't ask- lol).
To me, this is because boys like to fight! There's an uncontrollable urge in boys to turn everything into a weapon, to defend the helpless & by ALL means to never, EVER turn down an invitation to wrestle another boy! I was recently given this response by our 3 year old: "Mommy, I will be kind to my friends at church today! I am going to share! BUT if they wanna fight me, I'm gonna have to fight, ok?". Yeah, just what every mom wants to hear. :)
2. Small, round, hard objects
Hahaha... I know, this is rather general, but honestly, you have no idea how many pennies, rocks, beads, rings & balls I find in the washer or dryer! Boys find small items fascinating! They seem to notice things that no one takes time to notice! My boys are always the first to pick up on my earrings, my toenail polish, or a string hanging off the back of my shirt. They love details. These 2 can see beauty in the marbleized design on a super bouncy ball! Honestly, it's a pretty awesome trait!
3. PAPER!
aaah! This even gets attributed to daddy. I ALWAYS find papers in the dryer, when it's usually too late to save them! Normally this is my husbands work schedule that HE KNOWS he brought home for me. Other times its a business card that one of the boys confiscated on our way out the door of a doctors office. But, occasionally I find one that is readable. A grocery list I made before daddy rescued me & took both boys to the store last week. A piece of scrap paper they "wrote their name on". My favorite? The folded of paper where my oldest had drawn a picture of himself (w a super "s" on his chest, of course) next to a very tall (& beautiful, I might add) woman in a CAPE! Above this dynamic duo, were the words, "mommy is the best!". He might have received a little extra cuddle time that night! :)
Boys have a special place in their hearts for mommy. It's a place that no one will ever fill! So, even though I probably won't find things in boy #3's laundry for a while, I will already have that special place... no matter what... & I am totally looking forward to washing those tiny blue socks!
1. Army men.
I am pretty sure I find an army man at least once a week. They are either in a pocket from someone's jeans, or very frequently found in balled up socks (I just wash, I don't ask- lol).
To me, this is because boys like to fight! There's an uncontrollable urge in boys to turn everything into a weapon, to defend the helpless & by ALL means to never, EVER turn down an invitation to wrestle another boy! I was recently given this response by our 3 year old: "Mommy, I will be kind to my friends at church today! I am going to share! BUT if they wanna fight me, I'm gonna have to fight, ok?". Yeah, just what every mom wants to hear. :)
2. Small, round, hard objects
Hahaha... I know, this is rather general, but honestly, you have no idea how many pennies, rocks, beads, rings & balls I find in the washer or dryer! Boys find small items fascinating! They seem to notice things that no one takes time to notice! My boys are always the first to pick up on my earrings, my toenail polish, or a string hanging off the back of my shirt. They love details. These 2 can see beauty in the marbleized design on a super bouncy ball! Honestly, it's a pretty awesome trait!
3. PAPER!
aaah! This even gets attributed to daddy. I ALWAYS find papers in the dryer, when it's usually too late to save them! Normally this is my husbands work schedule that HE KNOWS he brought home for me. Other times its a business card that one of the boys confiscated on our way out the door of a doctors office. But, occasionally I find one that is readable. A grocery list I made before daddy rescued me & took both boys to the store last week. A piece of scrap paper they "wrote their name on". My favorite? The folded of paper where my oldest had drawn a picture of himself (w a super "s" on his chest, of course) next to a very tall (& beautiful, I might add) woman in a CAPE! Above this dynamic duo, were the words, "mommy is the best!". He might have received a little extra cuddle time that night! :)
Boys have a special place in their hearts for mommy. It's a place that no one will ever fill! So, even though I probably won't find things in boy #3's laundry for a while, I will already have that special place... no matter what... & I am totally looking forward to washing those tiny blue socks!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Waiting... simplifying... crafting...
I'm 39 weeks & haven't had our little guy yet. Somedays I think THIS will be the day... & then by that evening I'm saying it will be another 2 weeks! So, we are becoming very patient & trying to keep things in order so that if today is truly the day that I don't feel like we are drowning in laundry & dishes!
However, I have learned that in order to keep my house in decent shape, I have to keep my children very VERY busy! The problem is that it had to become a simplified busy-ness!
We went throughout the house one day, gathering toys that hadn't been played with in over a month. We got rid of the old stuff! Then we organized the favorite sets like trains, little people & pretend food, which only get used on more of a weekly or bi-weekly basis. So, those stay in the garage to be gotten out by an adult ONLY IF all other toys are put away. The items that are played with daily are separated between "BOYS"- "GIRLS"- "shared". Boy toys go in the boy's room, girl toys go in the girl's room, & shared toys like blocks, books, puzzles go on our toy shelves in the family room!
It might seem simple, but when there are so many young children, toys can become a real problem! This new system has been AMAZING for our kids, since it's easy to pick up, & even BETTER for me, since I'm not finding all this crap all over my house! :)
Now that half of our day isn't taken up with clean-up time, we've been able to do some really fun stuff! Crafty stuff!!!
We've decorated for Christmas, made cookies, Christmas paper chains, foam gingerbread men decorated in candy, painted sun-catchers, sewn blankets for the baby, and not to mention I've totally wrapped all their Christmas presents! This week my kids have their sights set on painting clear ornaments, sewing ribbon on the baby's burp cloths, & making hand-print trees.
I love it that I'm not stressed over the monotonous daily stuff. It helps that it's for the baby, not just another task I HAVE to do. So, as we wait for our precious boy to arrive, we are crafting our way to delivery day & definitely loving every minute of extra mommy time!!
However, I have learned that in order to keep my house in decent shape, I have to keep my children very VERY busy! The problem is that it had to become a simplified busy-ness!
We went throughout the house one day, gathering toys that hadn't been played with in over a month. We got rid of the old stuff! Then we organized the favorite sets like trains, little people & pretend food, which only get used on more of a weekly or bi-weekly basis. So, those stay in the garage to be gotten out by an adult ONLY IF all other toys are put away. The items that are played with daily are separated between "BOYS"- "GIRLS"- "shared". Boy toys go in the boy's room, girl toys go in the girl's room, & shared toys like blocks, books, puzzles go on our toy shelves in the family room!
It might seem simple, but when there are so many young children, toys can become a real problem! This new system has been AMAZING for our kids, since it's easy to pick up, & even BETTER for me, since I'm not finding all this crap all over my house! :)
Now that half of our day isn't taken up with clean-up time, we've been able to do some really fun stuff! Crafty stuff!!!
We've decorated for Christmas, made cookies, Christmas paper chains, foam gingerbread men decorated in candy, painted sun-catchers, sewn blankets for the baby, and not to mention I've totally wrapped all their Christmas presents! This week my kids have their sights set on painting clear ornaments, sewing ribbon on the baby's burp cloths, & making hand-print trees.
I love it that I'm not stressed over the monotonous daily stuff. It helps that it's for the baby, not just another task I HAVE to do. So, as we wait for our precious boy to arrive, we are crafting our way to delivery day & definitely loving every minute of extra mommy time!!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
7 weeks!
Today I am 33 weeks pregnant. It's not anything new to me, considering this is our 5th baby... in 6 years. :)
I'm not a total professional at pregnancy like the moms w 15+ kids on tv, but this certainly isn't my first rodeo!
Despite the potential for this whole baby deal to get tiresome, I think I'm more excited now than I was with our first! I have SEVEN weeks to my due date! Realistically, it could be as early as 5 or as late as 9. Either way, these are some of the most exciting 5-9 weeks of my life!!
7 weeks. Wow! You know, 7 is the number of perfection & that is exactly what I am envisioning for these last weeks: PERFECTION! In honor of my glee, I've put together a list of the 7 reasons I am so excited to have this little guy! :)
1. Final nesting!
The last few weeks of any pregnancy are the most productive for my husband & I. We clean, organize, rearrange & conquer the entire house. Well, mostly I do it & then there's a list of things I can't do without his assistance (moving heavy furniture, etc). I am never more organized than in my 3rd trimester!
2. The reward
Having a baby in general is like the prize at the bottom of your cereal box! You wait for 9 months, knowing it's gonna be worth it, & then it's like the playlist in your mind is on the Hallelujah chorus when that precious reward is finally here. I've been on this intense spiritual journey through these 9 months, learning to trust & give up my insignificant "plans" for God's best & now it's like I can see the finish line. I see the prize at the bottom & it's way better than a glow in the dark ring! :)
3. My other kids
They are more excited than I am! I love seeing the littlest ones learning to be gentle; or the older ones becoming more responsible. The other day, my 6 year old unloaded & loaded the dishwasher because he knew I was tired! It wasn't perfect, but he was right! I WAS tired & his initiative was such a blessing to me!
4. Baby smell
Oh, that sweet smell. It may involve a hint of poop & a small bit of spit up, but still... it sure is nice. It's the smell you sniff as you are laying next to them at night, or cuddling & snoozing on the couch. It's amazing!
5. Breastfeeding again
Nursing my babies is one of my greatest joys as a mother. It's the single most fulfilling job. Not to mention the ever-popular bonus of losing baby weight faster! :) Once you get past the first 6 weeks with your first baby, it's a breeze! Now, I will say it takes complete selfless-ness. You are sacrificing your schedule & lifestyle for your baby's best interest. Breastfed babies usually feed more often & are sometimes more difficult to wean, but the one on one moments spent nursing are just the best! It's a bonding experience you can't ever trade!
6. Our birth
When we found out I was pregnant, my husband asked me to consider having a home birth. I said "don't ever ask me that again". Haha! Even though we had our last baby totally naturally, I was stuck on this nightmare in my head. It's the one where I'm wearing a long denim skirt w hair past my waist, homeschooling a little tribe of children in matching polos with Biblical names. This dream was fast approaching if I considered a home birth. Well, let me tell you that my heart was changed. I researched it. I studied birthing. I watched what seems like a million home birth videos on YouTube (not all were pretty, I must say). I met with my friend, who had her last at home, heard her story & began to become interested. And then, it happened. I saw a video of the most beautiful birth I'd ever seen. The most perfect song I'd ever heard was playing in the back ground. I knew it was what I wanted! No more sterile hospital rooms with cords coming out every inch of me. No more nurses asking when I'd pooped or peed last. No more being away from my children as we enter a new season in all our lives. So, this beautiful, normal, family event will be held in the comfort of our own home- where we live together, where our kids will grow up & where we will grow old!
7. Paternity leave
Yes! Paternity leave!!! My hubby gets a week of paid leave from baby's birth. It's so great... all of us being together, working as a team, learning to adjust. However daddy's first day back to work is always completely terrifying. Haha!
So, the journey continues for the next 5-9 weeks...
I'm not a total professional at pregnancy like the moms w 15+ kids on tv, but this certainly isn't my first rodeo!
Despite the potential for this whole baby deal to get tiresome, I think I'm more excited now than I was with our first! I have SEVEN weeks to my due date! Realistically, it could be as early as 5 or as late as 9. Either way, these are some of the most exciting 5-9 weeks of my life!!
7 weeks. Wow! You know, 7 is the number of perfection & that is exactly what I am envisioning for these last weeks: PERFECTION! In honor of my glee, I've put together a list of the 7 reasons I am so excited to have this little guy! :)
1. Final nesting!
The last few weeks of any pregnancy are the most productive for my husband & I. We clean, organize, rearrange & conquer the entire house. Well, mostly I do it & then there's a list of things I can't do without his assistance (moving heavy furniture, etc). I am never more organized than in my 3rd trimester!
2. The reward
Having a baby in general is like the prize at the bottom of your cereal box! You wait for 9 months, knowing it's gonna be worth it, & then it's like the playlist in your mind is on the Hallelujah chorus when that precious reward is finally here. I've been on this intense spiritual journey through these 9 months, learning to trust & give up my insignificant "plans" for God's best & now it's like I can see the finish line. I see the prize at the bottom & it's way better than a glow in the dark ring! :)
3. My other kids
They are more excited than I am! I love seeing the littlest ones learning to be gentle; or the older ones becoming more responsible. The other day, my 6 year old unloaded & loaded the dishwasher because he knew I was tired! It wasn't perfect, but he was right! I WAS tired & his initiative was such a blessing to me!
4. Baby smell
Oh, that sweet smell. It may involve a hint of poop & a small bit of spit up, but still... it sure is nice. It's the smell you sniff as you are laying next to them at night, or cuddling & snoozing on the couch. It's amazing!
5. Breastfeeding again
Nursing my babies is one of my greatest joys as a mother. It's the single most fulfilling job. Not to mention the ever-popular bonus of losing baby weight faster! :) Once you get past the first 6 weeks with your first baby, it's a breeze! Now, I will say it takes complete selfless-ness. You are sacrificing your schedule & lifestyle for your baby's best interest. Breastfed babies usually feed more often & are sometimes more difficult to wean, but the one on one moments spent nursing are just the best! It's a bonding experience you can't ever trade!
6. Our birth
When we found out I was pregnant, my husband asked me to consider having a home birth. I said "don't ever ask me that again". Haha! Even though we had our last baby totally naturally, I was stuck on this nightmare in my head. It's the one where I'm wearing a long denim skirt w hair past my waist, homeschooling a little tribe of children in matching polos with Biblical names. This dream was fast approaching if I considered a home birth. Well, let me tell you that my heart was changed. I researched it. I studied birthing. I watched what seems like a million home birth videos on YouTube (not all were pretty, I must say). I met with my friend, who had her last at home, heard her story & began to become interested. And then, it happened. I saw a video of the most beautiful birth I'd ever seen. The most perfect song I'd ever heard was playing in the back ground. I knew it was what I wanted! No more sterile hospital rooms with cords coming out every inch of me. No more nurses asking when I'd pooped or peed last. No more being away from my children as we enter a new season in all our lives. So, this beautiful, normal, family event will be held in the comfort of our own home- where we live together, where our kids will grow up & where we will grow old!
7. Paternity leave
Yes! Paternity leave!!! My hubby gets a week of paid leave from baby's birth. It's so great... all of us being together, working as a team, learning to adjust. However daddy's first day back to work is always completely terrifying. Haha!
So, the journey continues for the next 5-9 weeks...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Jan Fed The Hens
Jan fed the hens. JAN FED THE HENS!!! No matter how I read it, this sentence is basically meaningless... unless I am Jan & have some really hungry hens to feed (ironically, my children are begging for a snack right now-ha!).
BUT when my almost 5 year old read these words in her first sentence today, I wanted to scream it from the ROOFTOPS! YES! Jan fed those hens!!!! We did it! She is learning to read & by golly... I TAUGHT HER!!!!
We began our homeschooling adventure this year & I convinced myself that it was best for our kids, so I would learn to love it. Let me just tell you that most days that we get through a full day, I do feel great! However, believe it or not, there are usually about 3 days of the week that we DON'T get it all done & I feel like all I want to do is send my kids to "real school".
I live for the good days, though. I see my life as a homeschooling mom right now like "The Little Engine That Could". If I tell myself I can, it will turn out ok... probably. I think I can (teach her to read). I think I can (get through til naptime). I think I can (be patient). But the moment I say I can't do it anymore, the day falls apart. It's similar to the days that all I announce is "how overwhelmed" I am by our life. Well, tough cookies, momma! This is your life. I think I can... and I AM... learning to LOVE IT!
I just read an interview today where a mom of four said the most generalized idea about large families is that "we all homeschool". I think the most generalized idea about large, homeschooling families is that we all WANT to. I teach my children because I know it is what is best for our family right now. I teach our children because we cannot afford private school. I teach our children because we will not ever send them to public school. I teach our children because today... JAN FED THE HENS!
BUT when my almost 5 year old read these words in her first sentence today, I wanted to scream it from the ROOFTOPS! YES! Jan fed those hens!!!! We did it! She is learning to read & by golly... I TAUGHT HER!!!!
We began our homeschooling adventure this year & I convinced myself that it was best for our kids, so I would learn to love it. Let me just tell you that most days that we get through a full day, I do feel great! However, believe it or not, there are usually about 3 days of the week that we DON'T get it all done & I feel like all I want to do is send my kids to "real school".
I live for the good days, though. I see my life as a homeschooling mom right now like "The Little Engine That Could". If I tell myself I can, it will turn out ok... probably. I think I can (teach her to read). I think I can (get through til naptime). I think I can (be patient). But the moment I say I can't do it anymore, the day falls apart. It's similar to the days that all I announce is "how overwhelmed" I am by our life. Well, tough cookies, momma! This is your life. I think I can... and I AM... learning to LOVE IT!
I just read an interview today where a mom of four said the most generalized idea about large families is that "we all homeschool". I think the most generalized idea about large, homeschooling families is that we all WANT to. I teach my children because I know it is what is best for our family right now. I teach our children because we cannot afford private school. I teach our children because we will not ever send them to public school. I teach our children because today... JAN FED THE HENS!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
All the aches and pains
So, I am officially 29 weeks pregnant this week. I am in my last trimester & definitely feeling it. You mom's know EXACTLY what I mean when I say I can FEEL that I'm in my 3rd trimester.
This entire pregnancy has been SUCH a journey for me. I truly felt so overwhelmed with four children & the morning I saw that positive pregnancy test was such a shock. My husband said "I knew it!", but I felt so concerned. Just because this is our 5th child does not mean we just go about pregnancy & childbirth like it's no big deal. In fact, as we've grown as a family, we've also grown in our respect for bringing a child into the world. This is not just a baby. This is not just another tax deduction. This is a life that God has blessed us with. He trusts us to care for & train this child... and that starts in the womb... at conception!
God has been teaching me something at every stage. My first trimester was a time that I really learned what a family is all about. It's about sacrifice. We don't just worry about ourselves- we can't! A family survives and grows stronger as we lean on each other & care for one another... in (morning) sickness and in health! I also really learned about my own children during this trimester. I learned so much about what they need from me as their mom.
My second trimester I learned about my own limits. As I was transitioning from 1st to 2nd trimester, I began to see how when I did too much, it affected not only the baby, but my other kids. I can't be the best mom possible if my back is out all the time & I'm working all these part time jobs that take me away from them when they need me most. What do they need at this point in their lives? That is what I am here to provide!
And at last, I come to my current stage... the beloved 3rd trimester. With every ache and pain in my body, I feel one outside myself. I feel stretching of finances as my belly stretches daily. I feel aching to have my husband home more often, as my lower back aches each night. I can sense the changes coming for our family. We are entering a new place together. Going from 3 to 4 kids was big, but this change from 4 to 5 is HUGE!
God has a plan. I know he does. Every ache and pain will be worth it. Every stretch we're going through will have a wonderful end result. We just have to hang in there. We have to be patient... even though... it's really hard! :)
This entire pregnancy has been SUCH a journey for me. I truly felt so overwhelmed with four children & the morning I saw that positive pregnancy test was such a shock. My husband said "I knew it!", but I felt so concerned. Just because this is our 5th child does not mean we just go about pregnancy & childbirth like it's no big deal. In fact, as we've grown as a family, we've also grown in our respect for bringing a child into the world. This is not just a baby. This is not just another tax deduction. This is a life that God has blessed us with. He trusts us to care for & train this child... and that starts in the womb... at conception!
God has been teaching me something at every stage. My first trimester was a time that I really learned what a family is all about. It's about sacrifice. We don't just worry about ourselves- we can't! A family survives and grows stronger as we lean on each other & care for one another... in (morning) sickness and in health! I also really learned about my own children during this trimester. I learned so much about what they need from me as their mom.
My second trimester I learned about my own limits. As I was transitioning from 1st to 2nd trimester, I began to see how when I did too much, it affected not only the baby, but my other kids. I can't be the best mom possible if my back is out all the time & I'm working all these part time jobs that take me away from them when they need me most. What do they need at this point in their lives? That is what I am here to provide!
And at last, I come to my current stage... the beloved 3rd trimester. With every ache and pain in my body, I feel one outside myself. I feel stretching of finances as my belly stretches daily. I feel aching to have my husband home more often, as my lower back aches each night. I can sense the changes coming for our family. We are entering a new place together. Going from 3 to 4 kids was big, but this change from 4 to 5 is HUGE!
God has a plan. I know he does. Every ache and pain will be worth it. Every stretch we're going through will have a wonderful end result. We just have to hang in there. We have to be patient... even though... it's really hard! :)
Monday, August 8, 2011
No... you can't possibly be SIX
Today is... gulp... my oldest kiddos' birthday. He is six today. I've questioned this a few times. Maybe I lost track? Maybe I'm counting wrong? Was he REALLY born in 2005?
Six years ago my life changed OFFICIALLY. I mean, the day I found out I was pregnant was CERTAINLY the biggest birthday surprise EVER! No surprise party will top that. However, the day he was born I became a new person. I became mommy.
I have said this before, but I HATE the word mother. I feel like to be one of those I'd need jeans up to my boobs & a visor. I know. It is so stereotypical. I also cried the day we bought our minivan... Not tears of joy. But for me, "MOMMY" means so much more. It is the reason my life is so incredible.
I remember laying in the hospital, as labor was induced. I had no clue what was about to happen. I was thinking at some point it might hurt, I'd ask for some drugs & then I'd have a baby. And I'd like to remind you that I didn't like babies... until that moment. I had dilated & gone through labor faster than anticipated. There wasn't time for the usual progression, but they gave me "the stuff" & before I knew what was going on, there was this cry. It was precious. Not nearly as annoying as those other babies. As the nurses laid him on my chest, I fell in love. I loved my husband (well, he was my fiance at the time), but this was different. This little man heard his daddy's voice & instantly stopped crying. It was literally love at first sight. Our family had begun.
The past six years we have been through more than most couples do in their "honeymoon phase". Haha! Our honeymoon will happen later... after the kids move out. I mean, that is the bonus of having kids young, right? It wasn't my plan, but it was the greatest idea God could've had.
I'm on my way to the next year of loving this little guy & learning all about this child that is growing before my eyes. He is smart, kind, funny. He is the greatest big brother. He loves Jesus with all his heart & wants to do what is right. I couldn't be more proud of the young man he is becoming. Today I celebrate 6 years of that laugh; 6 years of his smile; 6 years of discovering each day through this example of how much my Heavenly Father really loves me.
Six years ago my life changed OFFICIALLY. I mean, the day I found out I was pregnant was CERTAINLY the biggest birthday surprise EVER! No surprise party will top that. However, the day he was born I became a new person. I became mommy.
I have said this before, but I HATE the word mother. I feel like to be one of those I'd need jeans up to my boobs & a visor. I know. It is so stereotypical. I also cried the day we bought our minivan... Not tears of joy. But for me, "MOMMY" means so much more. It is the reason my life is so incredible.
I remember laying in the hospital, as labor was induced. I had no clue what was about to happen. I was thinking at some point it might hurt, I'd ask for some drugs & then I'd have a baby. And I'd like to remind you that I didn't like babies... until that moment. I had dilated & gone through labor faster than anticipated. There wasn't time for the usual progression, but they gave me "the stuff" & before I knew what was going on, there was this cry. It was precious. Not nearly as annoying as those other babies. As the nurses laid him on my chest, I fell in love. I loved my husband (well, he was my fiance at the time), but this was different. This little man heard his daddy's voice & instantly stopped crying. It was literally love at first sight. Our family had begun.
The past six years we have been through more than most couples do in their "honeymoon phase". Haha! Our honeymoon will happen later... after the kids move out. I mean, that is the bonus of having kids young, right? It wasn't my plan, but it was the greatest idea God could've had.
I'm on my way to the next year of loving this little guy & learning all about this child that is growing before my eyes. He is smart, kind, funny. He is the greatest big brother. He loves Jesus with all his heart & wants to do what is right. I couldn't be more proud of the young man he is becoming. Today I celebrate 6 years of that laugh; 6 years of his smile; 6 years of discovering each day through this example of how much my Heavenly Father really loves me.
This is CRAZY
I haven't posted in a while... possibly because of the circus that is my life! I'm not saying that it's terrible. A circus is LOTS of fun, but sometimes the bearded lady & the guy who swallows fire are just a little over the top. Know what I mean? Every once in a while, I would kind of like to calm the freak show & have a normal day. Haha... oh wait... this IS normal! :)
I have had an eventful few months. I thought turning 25 was going to be more than I could handle. Little did I know that the week before this "milestone" I would get pregnant (again), that the night after my birthday my parents' house would catch on fire, that my little dog would no longer be a part of our life, or that I would be taken on this CRAZY journey over the next 6 months. SURPRISE! God likes to keep me on my toes, that's for sure.
My resolutions went out the door. Along with them went my ideas, plans & desires for what I thought would be a settling down for our family this year. Oh well. Here we are! My parents are now living with US, rather than the opposite for those 2 1/2 years. We just found out that baby #5 is indeed coming in December... and he is a boy. I have found myself trying to organize every inch of our house because "maybe if I organize it, things will calm down".
Here is what I have learned. I have 4 (soon to be 5) CHILDREN, not 4 organizational problems. I cannot sort & stash my CHILDREN. I can train them. I can teach them. I can guide them. The behavior issues are solving themselves as I have learned to lead their HEARTS more every day. Their actions are reflecting what my husband & I are praying.
I CAN, however organize my own priorities. What's most important? Making hairbows to make $5 a piece on... or making a necklace out of cheerios with my toddlers? Working in an office for 5 hours a week (which always turns to more)... or actually getting the dishes done so that the time I spend with my kids is truly spent WITH them. My house isn't fabulous & perfect. I'll admit it! I don't live in a Pottery Barn catalog (sigh!). But I am so much more satisfied with the fact that there are construction paper crafts covering my fridge. There are tiny handprints on my back window. There is a special signature in permanent ink on the closet door. AND, above all else, there is more love & laughter than we know what to do with.
I have had an eventful few months. I thought turning 25 was going to be more than I could handle. Little did I know that the week before this "milestone" I would get pregnant (again), that the night after my birthday my parents' house would catch on fire, that my little dog would no longer be a part of our life, or that I would be taken on this CRAZY journey over the next 6 months. SURPRISE! God likes to keep me on my toes, that's for sure.
My resolutions went out the door. Along with them went my ideas, plans & desires for what I thought would be a settling down for our family this year. Oh well. Here we are! My parents are now living with US, rather than the opposite for those 2 1/2 years. We just found out that baby #5 is indeed coming in December... and he is a boy. I have found myself trying to organize every inch of our house because "maybe if I organize it, things will calm down".
Here is what I have learned. I have 4 (soon to be 5) CHILDREN, not 4 organizational problems. I cannot sort & stash my CHILDREN. I can train them. I can teach them. I can guide them. The behavior issues are solving themselves as I have learned to lead their HEARTS more every day. Their actions are reflecting what my husband & I are praying.
I CAN, however organize my own priorities. What's most important? Making hairbows to make $5 a piece on... or making a necklace out of cheerios with my toddlers? Working in an office for 5 hours a week (which always turns to more)... or actually getting the dishes done so that the time I spend with my kids is truly spent WITH them. My house isn't fabulous & perfect. I'll admit it! I don't live in a Pottery Barn catalog (sigh!). But I am so much more satisfied with the fact that there are construction paper crafts covering my fridge. There are tiny handprints on my back window. There is a special signature in permanent ink on the closet door. AND, above all else, there is more love & laughter than we know what to do with.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Saturday Night Fevers
I found this un-published & its kind of perfect since we'll be to winter before we know it! :)
I'm sitting on the couch between my middle 2 kiddos... both with a fever. They've been napping for 2 days & finally woke up this afternoon. But cold & flu season is among the things I HATE about winter. I know, HATE is such a strong word, but truly that is why I use it in reference to this horrid season. Haha! So, in light of my disdain for the cold, I am going to list my top 10 favorite things about winter. Perhaps this could distract me from my crankiness toward the winter... or at least postpone any further negativity! :)
I'm sitting on the couch between my middle 2 kiddos... both with a fever. They've been napping for 2 days & finally woke up this afternoon. But cold & flu season is among the things I HATE about winter. I know, HATE is such a strong word, but truly that is why I use it in reference to this horrid season. Haha! So, in light of my disdain for the cold, I am going to list my top 10 favorite things about winter. Perhaps this could distract me from my crankiness toward the winter... or at least postpone any further negativity! :)
1. The first big snow!
It's beautiful when it snows over night & you wake up to find your street just covered in a blanket of white! We just had 2 snow days in a row this past week. They were just magical! The kids woke up, got into bed with me as we watched the snow fall for a bit, then went downstairs to open up the back windows and watch the snow some more while we ate breakfast. We made snow ice cream. We ate only things that were shaped like snowmen or were white like snow. We played in it. Michael took Efton sledding at the park! We got 10 inches, which was simply fabulous! Nothing beats a good snow in January!
2. CHRISTMAS, of course!
Oh, yes... the most wonderful time of the year! I just love how at Christmas, everything is exciting, especially to the kids! I love remembering Christmas as a little girl with my brothers. One year, my brother & I woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve to just sit & look at the tree with all of our presents under it. We didn't touch, because Christmas tradition is just too important to mess with. He & I take Christmas very seriously! We take our trees very seriously, as well. I have my trees up every year the day after Thanksgiving. One tree I let the kids decorate, with as much STUFF as they want... colored lights, bubble lights, tacky ornaments, ornaments with our pictures on them, construction paper crafts, candy canes... it's loaded with all the mismatched things that make it look like a gingerbread house threw up on their tree. And then there's MY TREE! It's bright & sparkly & OH SO CHIC! Haha! It's jewel-toned, hot pink & lime green decorations, with silver beads & white lights. It has a big, silver star at the top & a few pink poinsettias scattered on it. I ADORE my tree! Efton got to help this year, but only under strict supervision. I know he is as OCD as I am, so I let him stay up... but only if he followed orders! :)
3. Black Friday
I know most people hate it, but I thrive on the excitement! My husband & I stay up every year on Thanksgiving scoping out the ads online. Then we compare & plot where we will go. My mom stays with the kids that morning so we can get in line early! We are shivering & freezing, but about 15 minutes until those doors open, I start to get really pumped! Michael laughs at me every year. I love it!
4. Christmas Sunday
The Sunday before Christmas is when the kids' program is at our church. I remember performing as a little girl. I always had a solo to sing & when we first started the church, I was the only girl, so I got to be Mary for probably 5 years in a row. Haha! I thought it was because I looked so pure! BAAHAHA!
A couple years ago all of our toddlers and preschoolers were baby animals at the manger. They were in farm animal costumes... well, the "cows" got restless & started roaming all over the sanctuary... PRICELESS! Always priceless!
5. Starting fresh in January
No matter what the past year has held, we always get to start over new! I love staying up late and shouting HAPPPPP-Y NEW YEAR!!! It means that as of today, we forget the last 365 days & focus on the next. WHat will they hold? Who knows! That's why it's so exciting! Michael & I got married on the 30th, for that very reason! We needed to start the year fresh as a family! The year we got married was a looong, rough year. We learned a lot & grew a lot FOR SURE, but starting that new year out together... past forgotten, looking to the future, was such a blessing!
6. Organizing your life
Along with that new, fresh start comes this desire (at least for me) to clean everything out of our house & organize it! Haha! Its like I can make it through the holidays, but then life has to go on & we have to get some order back into our lives! This year, I have been determined to get EVERY area of our lives organized: work, school, family, personal... watch out... I'm on a rampage!
7. Valentine's Day
Is right up there with Christmas on my list of holidays! I LOVE to celebrate LOVE! I always decorate our house with pink & red, make anything heart-shaped I can think of & then I throw a Valentine Party for my kids & all their cousins (there are 12!). It just is a really great excuse to go OUT OF YOUR WAY to show and tell everyone how much you care about them.
8. TAX RETURNS!!!!!
Yes, I know... how shallow and materialistic! Whatever! :) Every year I am anxiously waiting for that W2 to come in the mail so I can sit down with Michael one night & do our taxes. I hate money and numbers. I am terrible at math, so Michael does it all. He has this sick fascination and love for math... yuck! BUT somehow, I "get" the math when I see the numbers at the end! Yeah, baby! It's just comforting to know you can breathe for about a week before you spend it on whatever you spend it on. For us, it always seems to pay bills & buy clothes for our kids. But I do always make sure we get to go out to eat just once with it before we rifle it away on more "practical" things.
9. SWEATERS
Although they are itchy & awful, everyone just looks so cute in sweaters. That's all I have to say about that. I'm sick of them by mid-January, but they sure are adorable!
10. FIRES in the fireplace
aaaahhhh... so toasty & warm!! Almost makes me like winter. But not quite enough! :)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
A new year... now what?!
2011. It's here & I feel like I just got used to writing 2010! This year has just FLOWN BY! A year ago, I was pregnant, homeschooling my 3 and 4 year olds, living in a very cramped house with my family, & had just sent my husband BACK to school... and I thought I was busy. HA! I wish I had that much time now.
With a new year comes a fresh start. That is something I am always up for! When I was thinking about New Year's Resolutions, the usual came to mind... eat better, lose weight, read my Bible more. But considering how much happened in 2010 & how much life has changed for us, I have really begun to realize how important those "usual" resolutions are. So, in honor of my kids, who need their mom to be as healthy as possible (both physically AND spiritually), I am trying my hardest to keep those "normal" resolutions.
2011 here I come...
eating healthier
cutting back on soda
reading my Bible more
spending more time with my husband
trying to work out several times a week
sleeping more
being more patient
I probably won't do every single thing... every single week... BUT the cool thing is that my husband, my kids & more importantly, GOD are not interested in my complete success. My kids don't care if I work out 5 times a week, instead of the one time it happens... they just need a mom who doesn't groan every time I pick them up because my back hurts. My husband doesn't care if we have this fabulous, romantic night... he just wants time with his wife. And God doesn't care if I spend an hour a day reading my Bible or the 15 minutes that I have before I wake the kids up. He doesn't care if I look like I did 6 years ago before I had kids. He doesn't mind that I didn't take my pajamas off yesterday until my mother-in-law called to say she was on her way over. God just wants me to spend time with him each day. He wants me to depend on him, rather than that Dr. Pepper. He wants me to know HIS voice and HIS words more than I know anyone else's.
So, in 2011, I may not lose those last 5 "baby pounds". I might not completely give up soda. And, I know this is shocking, but I will probably still lose my patience this year. HA! But the whole point is not all the times that I will fail... it's about how many MORE TIMES I can have success. How many more times will I wake up 15 minutes earlier to read my Bible this year than I did last year. How many more times will I work out this year than I did last year? If it's even ONE MORE TIME, then I have succeeded. Just one more day that I choose to go to bed, instead of stay up all night, which then results in me losing my patience & having an extra soda the next day...
As a mom, these are not easy resolutions to make. They are probably impossible, but that is why they are so vague. HAha! We will see what happens, but for now... I am resolving to try my hardest!
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