posting from the trenches

Raising kids is hard… in case you didn’t get the memo! Haha! I am frequently concerned that I am ruining my kids, or that they are going to need some serious counseling later in life. I mean, I had amazing parents, but even I ended up pregnant at 19!

Not only is it hard, but it’s exhausting! I am frequently tired. Not just on a physical level, but on EVERY level. Parenting uses up mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical strength. Some days my body is wide-awake, but my brain is done. I might not be ready for a nap, but the stress on my mental health, keeping up with my 4 year old & trying to stay one step ahead of him… has just finished me for the day!

It’s so hard to keep the goal in mind! The funny thing is that it’s JUST like all those old church ladies say: “the days are long, but the years are short”. We have to remember that the goal is not JUST making it to the end of the day (even though that seems nearly impossible). The goal is long-term. It’s not just surviving a Monday; it’s about RAISING children! Motherhood is hard. It’s tiring. It feels like you are in the trenches, in the middle of the pouring rain, with food in your hair and you have to pee!

Galatians 6:9 says:

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Do not give up, mommas! Get through today, put them to bed & then take 30 minutes… read a book, take a bath, watch your favorite show… recharge your batteries! Because just like those church ladies say, today WAS long, but 5 years later we are going to wonder where all the time went! I am just beginning to see this now that I have some older kiddos. I look back I realize “huh! She really DID end up potty-trained!” or “wow! He actually grew out of that stage at some point!” The toddler years are rough, but those stages that felt endless, finally ended!

At the right moment, someday we will reap our harvest. I hear it’s probably when you become a grand-parent & see your own kids raising their children.

Apparently that’s pretty rewarding. 

The Dish Diva

The Dish Diva

I’d like to say I’m not only the “laundry mistress”, but the “DISH DIVA” as well… but that would be a lie. I hate doing the dishes. I am terrible about keeping up with them & I usually do not.

My husband is a dish stickler. When we first got married, he would get so upset to come home & find dirty dishes (still there from days ago). He wasn’t mad at me, but he wasn’t happy either. He just is picky about the kitchen! Well, I’m clearly picky about the laundry. We discovered around this time that we each had a strength & a weakness here… let’s use them!!

So, as I post about the “DISH DIVA”, you should all know that it’s not me. It’s my husband! I do a few things to help out, but I’m not in charge. I guess it’s just another tip for big families! FIND WHAT WORKS! For us, it’s that I do the laundry & he does the dishes. Occasionally we help each other out when it’s really overwhelming or the other person has a lot of other stuff going on, but it has saved us from many an argument this way!

Now, the other thing that has recently saved us TIME is having our older children UNLOAD the dishes. Usually the boys take the top & the girls take the bottom. They do it as buddies, the oldest child helping the younger child. Also, after meals the older kids clear the table & my oldest daughter rinses all the dishes off.

So, while I’m not the dish diva, I do have respect for this one, because I have never been happier now that the pressure to keep a clean sink is off of me! I let it go & he loads when he gets home… even though it does make me feel good if I get to bless him by doing it before he walks in the door. 

Pantry dreams...

I go though these cycles of being really happy with all that we have, then feeling like we are WAY too big of a family to live in this tiny house (which means I want to move asap).

Before we bought our house, we lived with my parents… for 2 ½ years! It was supposed to only be 6 months to a year, but you know how things go. By the time we saved enough money, found the house we wanted, found out it flooded every year, ended our contract, then found the REAL house we wanted & bought it… 2 ½ years. So, I understand what a huge blessings our home is. However, I had NO idea that we would have five children in this home. I had NO idea what a problem it would be to not have a pantry! I had NO idea how small this house would feel or 

how un-fit it would be for a large family.

One day last week I made a list of all the things I would *like* to have in our next home. 

Things like...

 a mud room

 more bathrooms, bigger bedrooms, a basement 

a room for school

an area for my crafting & sewing

How about a PANTRY???

The list could go on & on… It seems so impossible! It feels like this will never happen, until I’m reminded of this verse:

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart

God knows what’s in my heart for my family. He knows my desire for us to be happy, healthy, & in a home that suits our needs. These things aren't NEEDS for us to SURVIVE, but they certainly would make life with many children easier! I just have to keep on seeking HIM. I just have to keep on trusting HIM for our family’s provision. God is our provider & he knows exactly what we need!

In the meantime, I really enjoy looking at houses online, in magazines & of course on pinterest.  It never hurts to be prepared!

Thank goodness for GRACE

Ever have a day where you wake up & feel defeated already? Like Monday just kicked your booty? I slept through the alarm, which means I didn’t get to work out OR have my quiet time before the kids got up. I forgot to go to the store last night so we don’t have eggs or milk for breakfast. I fell asleep before putting the diapers in the dryer. I was cranky with my kids before we even had breakfast, so now everyone is cranky.

Sometimes I wake up positive, but by the time we get to the end of the day I have been reminded of every single one of my faults. The words “mommy fail” have been mentioned way too much. Actually my daughter went through a stage when she was 5, where she would burst into tears every night as she told me all the things “I said I would do”, but never did (get her juice, do a craft, help her with something, etc). EVERY NIGHT I would put her to bed feeling like a total loser!

Thank goodness for this…

2 Corinthians 12:9

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.

I am FULL of weakness. I feel like some days I can’t get anything right! But I guess that is the point of having an amazing, omnipotent God. He is all-powerful! He doesn’t need us to be strong because HE is the strongest!

This verse has gotten me through many a night, as my daughter did the run-down of all my faults. Thankfully she has grown out of this & our relationship has survived! Haha! I think a lot of it was due to a new baby, a cute little sister, a little brother who demands a lot & her feeling weary of being “a big helper” all the time. She just needed a little recognition of her hard work, and some help from me in return…

Hmm… interesting! I completely understand that! 

THE LAUNDRY MISTRESS

The Laundry Mistress

When we decided to have more than 3 children (you know, when I took that 4^th pregnancy test & saw that it was positive), the part I had no idea about was LAUNDRY! I had no clue what I was getting myself into!

We currently do about 26 loads of laundry on a normal week. Yes, we do cloth diapers, but that’s only 7 of those loads! There is SO MUCH! We do a load of kids stuff each day, plus a load of diapers & another load of blankets or towels each day. That’s 21 right there. So, add in a load for daddy each week, a load for mommy each week, then 3 loads of miscellaneous sheets, blankets & possibly an extra load of delicates… & that’s my life!

I have a few systems I have figured out through the past 2 years to keep chaos at a minimum, especially since we don’t really have a laundry room.

First of all is SOCKS. I used to have such an issue keeping track of matches, losing 1 half of matches, or just disappearing socks in general. I started throwing all dirty socks into a mesh laundry bag, instead of tossing them into the washer. Then when they come out, my oldest 2 help me divide between BOY SOCKS and GIRL SOCKS, followed by matching/rolling the pairs. The key to my success… the clean socks never make it upstairs (either do their shoes, btw) & usually dirty ones get taken off downstairs anyway. In my laundry room/pantry/storage room I have small metal shelves. On one shelf, is a bin marked “BOYS” & one is marked “GIRLS”. That is where sorted/rolled socks live. I also have one for the girls bloomers/biker shorts (for under dresses) & one for the girls tights, which were also a problem in the mornings.

The other HUGE trick was getting a divided hamper. I found it on sale at Target for about $20. There’s a space for boys, girls & towels. Those were the things that found their way to the floors of the laundry room. Some one had an accident… clothes on the floor. Some one spilled something… towel on the floor. So this way, as I am doing laundry (which I’ll explain my method in a moment) I can add the appropriate items. I wash all towels & sheets together since they usually are dirty for similar reasons (pee, messes, etc) requiring heavier washing to get the smells and dirt out. Plus, it just keeps things organized & that’s just plain helpful.

I started doing a child’s laundry each day. Each kiddo has their “color” hamper for clean clothes & their “color” for dirty clothes. Monday is child #1, Tuesday is child #2, & so on. Then Saturday & Sunday is for catching up or items that need immediate attention (mud, pee, stains, etc). Also, when I am doing this consistently, it eliminates the need for mass sorting & folding!

Which brings me to my next saving tip… my oldest 3 fold & put away their own laundry! LIFE. SAVER. Actually my 6 year old daughter is pretty amazing- she also does all our towels. She LOVES it & so do I!

Do you mommas have any other tips or tricks? How do you keep your sanity among the piles of dirty {or clean} clothes? Share with us below…

HELP! WE HAVE 5 KIDS!

I started homeschooling thinking it would be “only a year” & then I’d send my kids back to school. We just “had to make it through” this next year. Then we had baby #5 & my whole life changed.

When we had the fourth baby, I wondered why it was so hard. Having 3 had been a breeze! In fact, I wish it had been harder, because I feel like I kind of over-looked baby 3, thinking “he’s just like the other 2” (WRONG!). Looking back though, I realize that #4 was hard because we officially were a large family. Something happens when you have 4.

Well, something else happened when I had 5… I EMBRACED the large family lifestyle! When #4 came, we had to get a minivan. I cried! No joke! 

When #5 came, I was rocking that minivan! I got those stick figure things on the back for our family & accepted the fact that my van was packed FULL. 

So were my hands, apparently!

I was at the store last week, and someone said the usual:

“Are these ALL yours?”

Me: Yes, ma’am they are!

“Wow! You sure have got your hands full!”

Me: Yes ma’am, with very good things! We have lots of fun!

(then her look of utter confusion at my response)

I decided to then ask my kids a question:

“Hey guys, that lady says mommy has her hands full. Is that true?”

Kids, in unison: YES!

“What do you think they are full of?”

My oldest daughter: “well, children of course”

Haha! Yes dear, they are very full of children! When I reached this place of acceptance, I began to desperately search for help! HELP WE HAVE 5 KIDS! I knew that someone out there MUST have 5 children & be surviving. I began reading my “Duggars” books. I began finding blogs. I began asking friends with lots of kids how they handled things like laundry, sorting socks, toys, chores, dinner…

I was starting to think differently! I also realized that these things could be helpful for any mom! In the coming posts, I am so excited to share with you all MY personal tips & secrets for large families. Don’t feel left out if you only have 2 kids… these things can help anyone, its just that they are a life-saver for big families!

I can’t wait to share with you all what I have learned… & most likely entertain you with my total craziness along the way! J

We're back!

We're baaaack.....

Happy Monday friends! It’s here again. Do you mommas dread the beginning of the week like I do? It’s especially hard after the holidays!

It seems like every Monday I am so overwhelmed at all the stuff I have to do, whether it’s just another normal week or not. Mondays are just mentally exhausting! Not to mention, one of my children has some major social anxiety, so the day after a Sunday is just brutal! He uses so much effort to just make it through a Sunday at church, that by the time we get to a Monday, he’s done!

My mom gave me a cute, pink coffee mug last year at Christmas. It has a scripture on the side… Philipians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”. This has become one of my life verses. I painted it on my (now) 7 year old's wall to help him remember that nothing is "too hard". What a reminder for us moms!

I can do the dishes through Christ.

I can break up one more argument through Christ.

I can fold the laundry through Christ.

I can be patient through Christ.

I can change {what seems like} the 100^th diaper through Christ… although thanks to my NEWLY POTTY TRAINED ladybug, it’s a few less!

It doesn’t matter how big the problem is! If it’s something you have to conquer today, you can do it! Don’t start off feeling like a failure! Lean on HIM to help you through instead. Take a deep breath & know he’s got it covered. He’s given you the strength & the energy to get it done! Not that one more cup of coffee could hurt though… J

Have a great day, mommas!!