As I wait...

We are doing lots of waiting around our house right now... I am officially 40 weeks with Baby #6. I have had on/off contractions for weeks now, which is pretty typical for me. They've been a little more intense than usual. So it's definitely thrown us for a loop a couple of times.

However, I was mentally expecting baby to come at 39 weeks. I cannot tell you why. I just had this feeling. Well, obviously it was just wishful thinking. Haha! BUT my house has been ready to birth for 2 weeks now. My children have been ready for their new sibling. I have had every single random project completed.

As I have been just enjoying the Fab 5, resting, and waiting for baby, I have done lots of reflecting on my past 5 births. They have all been so different. It's hard to think this one can be different as well. It's such a walk of faith to be pregnant, but throwing in not knowing baby's sex has taken it to a whole new level. Every day that I neared our due date felt like I needed another dose of grace to make it through the day without a melt down. That's not saying there haven't been meltdowns though. Haha! About a week ago, we were talking about baby names and I completely lost it. I don't feel like I can name this baby until I meet him/her. I just couldn't have the conversation any longer. So, I told my husband I needed to go drive somewhere. I got in our van, burst into tears, drove to the nearest McDonalds & ordered french fries. I don't think I had eaten McDonalds fries in probably a year and a half. I just needed to distract myself from the fact that I can't name my baby, because I haven't seen my baby, because my baby isn't here yet.

This weekend marked 40 weeks for me though, and I sat down to write. I haven't written anything in almost 6 months. It's partly just because I've been busy, but mostly I didn't even realize so much time had gone by. The days and weeks of this pregnancy have flown by! I don't want to forget a single moment of any of it! But I had to start at the beginning.

You all have read our last birth journey. I haven't shared the others though, and when I sat down to write over the weekend I realized that I needed to. I needed to get those words out!

I'm not sure if I have the complete courage to share all 4. Some are very real and raw. They bring out feelings in me that I don't like to remember I have. So, we'll see... But I'd like to share with you at least part of my journey. I hope it inspires & encourages you. I hope it allows you to remember your own journeys. And I pray you can see the amazing hand that God has had in orchestrating our lives. I would have NEVER dreamed I would be where I am today. It was not in my wildest dreams.